Smith Christmas Tradition #5 Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

After an awesome Christmas break, we’re leaving the boys in Vancouver and heading back to California. As always it’s tough leaving them, not only for the obvious reason that they are our sons but because:

They try to be patient.

Shelley: I just want all of you to know that I will probably cry today. 
Matt: Why?
Shelley: Because this is our last day together.
Andrew: But because this our last day together and we’re going to play frisbee golf, watch “Mission Impossible” and eat out tonight, shouldn’t you be happy?

Shelley: Well, I am happy. But then I get sad knowing that this will be our last day that the four of us will be together for “six” whole months. So, I will probably cry. I’m just warning you.

Matt and Andrew: But that doesn’t really make any sense.
Shelley: That’s because you are not a mother.

They play well together.
Andrew: Don’t touch me, Matt.
Matt: Like this Andrew? Gloobly! Gloobly!
Andrew: I’m serious. If you touch me, I will punch you in the throat.
Matt: Ha! Ha! Ha!

They play well together #2.

Matt: Don’t touch me, Andrew.
Andrew: Like this Matt? Gloobly! Gloobly! 
Matt: I’m serious. If you touch me, I will punch you in the throat.
Andrew: Ha! Ha! Ha!

They support each other. 

Andrew: That woman just cut me off. What a b$%&*!
Matt: What….a……@*^%!!!
Shelley, John and Andrew: (Shocked silence)
Both boys: We should punch her in the throat!
Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!

They can quote and/or reenact parts of movies.
Shelley: What was your favourite part of “Mission Impossible?
Matt: When Simon Pegg came into the room and said, ”Whew. I’m OK. Didn’t think I was up to it, but I managed. What have you lot been up to?”
Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!
John: What was yours Andrew?
Andrew: This…. (He slams through the mall doors, spins around a couple, stutter steps then sprints  through the parking lot, in the pouring rain, with high knees and arms pumping like pistons.) 
Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Andrew: How’d I look?
Shelley: I thought you were Tom Cruise.
Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!

They help each other out.

They share.
Andrew: Matt, did you use my nose trimmer for manscaping?

Matt: Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t even work very well.
Andrew: What? Seriously? You did, didn’t you? I am going to punch you in the @#$$$!

They love to tease John. 
John: Come on!  Whenever we play “Apples to Apples”  no one ever chooses my cards.
Andrew: Dad. It’s because you are too literal.
John: How is Reese Witherspoon too literal for shy?
Matt: What’s the opposite of literal?
Andrew: Figurative.
John: I was going to say that.
Andrew: No you weren’t.
Matt: Wait, Andrew. I’ve got this. Dad, name a book.
John: “The Catcher in The Rye.”
Matt: Ha! You always say that. 
Andrew: Let’s try again. What’s the opposite of literal?
John: Iliteral.
Andrew: That is not a word.
Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha!

They love competition. 

Shelley: How many did you get on that last hole Andrew?

Shelley: Matt? 
Matt: Two.
Andrew: Matt. You did not get two.  You used your foot as a backboard when you were putting, not to mention the double tap. That’s at least four.
Matt: Shut up Andrew or I’ll punch you in the $#%%@! Mom, can you just write down one and a half? He’ll never know.

They admire cheaters.
Shelley: Well done John. You win at “Blockus” because you went last.
Matt: Wait a second, it says here that if neither of you can go, whoever has the least amount of tiles wins.
John: I have four.
Shelley: I have four.
Matt: The next step is to count the total number of squares.
John: I have thirteen.
Shelley: I have twelve. I win. I win.
John: Wait a minute, you have fourteen. Shelley, you are terrible.
Matt and Andrew: I knew it.   I knew you couldn’t get through Christmas without cheating. Awesome, mom.
Shelley: Why thank you boys.

Like I said, I’m really going to miss them.

Shelley and John


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