How to Stay Happily Married Tip #1 Always Keep Things Even


My husband, John and I had four great days in the San Diego area with my parents.
Our next stop was Yuma, Arizona, in a campsite far, far away from highway I10 and the railway.

Our next stop was in Yuma, Arizona, in a campsite far, far away from highway I10 and the railway.

After supper, while having a relaxing glass of wine, John: At the last RV site, did you do what I did when you showered?

Me: What did you do?

John: Turn on the water, get wet, turn the water off, wash, then turn it back on for a quick rinse.

Shelley: Why’d you do that?

John: Because, I was worried that the grey water tank would get so full, the water would come back up the drains. (Grey water is bath and sink water. Black water is what comes out of the toilet.) So, did you do the same?

Shelley: No. That’s stupid.

John: Why is that stupid? Our own site didn’t have a sewage drain.

Shelley: I know that. I just figured that we would empty the grey and black water at the communal dump station before we left. Didn’t think it was something to worry about.

John: But, I was worried about what would happen after four nights of not dumping.  Great! I froze my a$% off washing without running water. And, even when I had soap in my eyes, I resisted turning the water on.  But you took long, hot showers.

Shelley: But, you didn’t tell me not to shower normally. So, if you think about it, that is kind of stupid.

John: I’ll tell you what’s stupid. My eyes still sting and you had hot showers.

Shelley: Holy Christ. You are blowing this thing way out of proportion. You didn’t tell me to shower using the “John Smith” method. Jesus, I’m not a mind reader. Tell you what, next time I shower, I’ll shower without any water. There. Satisfied?

John: Tell “you” what. How about the next time we pack up, I clean the bathroom and you throw on the black “Dexter” gloves, take off the hose from the caterpillar stand,
screw it into the outlet on the septic tank,
pull open the lever, flush the black and grey water, unhook and clean out the sewage hose?
There. Satisfied?
Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! You’re kidding, right?
John: No.
Shelley: Seriously. Seriously?
John: Seriously.

Shelley: (Holy S$%^!!! He’s serious. But I don’t care. There is no way that I’m going to do the sewer. Even in normal situations, I can barely go near the “sewage dumping” process without throwing up. But this morning was even worse. The worst I have ever seen. Ever!!! Ten seconds after John released the black water, it backed up on him. Raw sewage, S#$@, urine and soggy used toilet paper gushed out. In the end, he had to hold the hose, with all that crap pouring out, over an open sewage holding tank!!! GAK! GAK! GAK!  Dad had to do the same thing too.There is no chance in Hell that I am going to do that. Ever!)
Shelley: John. I’m really, really sorry about not turning the water off in the shower. Really. But I’m telling you now, that there are some things in life you are 100% sure of and this is one of them. I am not emptying the sewer. There is no way. I love you and you do such a good job. We shouldn’t mess with that. Let’s just drop this. Okay?
John: What about men and women having equal rights?
Shelley: That’s Ashly. (Daughter-in-law)
John: Shelley, the more I think about it, the more I think it’s a great idea.
Shelley: No. It’s not a great idea. It’s stupid. One of your worst ideas ever. There must be something else I can do to keep things even.
John: Wellllllll….
Shelley: Okay. Okay. I’ve got it. Every morning, for the next two weeks, I’ll get up first, turn on the heat, the hot water, and bring you the computer and your coffee...  while you stay in bed.
John: And….
Shelley: Take it or leave it, John.
John: Sighhhhhhh…  I’ll take it.
Shelley and John
Need more tips for how to stay happily married?

One thought on “How to Stay Happily Married Tip #1 Always Keep Things Even

  1. Pingback: How to Stay Happily Married Tip #12 DO NOT, REPEAT, DO NOT SAND DRYWALL TOGETHER | Honey Did you See that?

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