How to Escape an Alligator Attack

After four great days in Lousiana, we are back in Texas. Before we left, we were worried about being able to understand the Lousiana accent. Surprisingly, there weren’t any problems for us, but few Louisianians could understand John. 

Here’s what typically happened when John spoke.


Cute Server: (Big, big smile) Hello! My name is Suzy. How can I help y’all?
John: I’ll have a medium latte, please.
Cute Server:(Smile falters)Pardon me, sir.
John: I’ll have a medium latte, please.
Cute Server: (Smile is back, with giggles) I’m sorry, sir. Can you repeat that?
John: I’ll have a medium latte, please.
Cute Server:(more giggles)……………
John: And my wife would like a hot chocolate.
Cute Server: (And more giggles) Oh gosh. I’m not sure what’s come over me. Did you say moccha? 
John: No. I said hot chocolate. 
Cute Server: (And even more giggles)……..I’m very sorry sir. We don’t have that.
John: Yes you do. It’s written right there on the wall.
Cute Server: (Turns to her co-worker, whispers) Can you understand him?(Co-worker shrugs, both laugh)
Shelley: You can‘t understand him, can you?
Cute Server and co-worker: (Laugh harder) No m’am. Where y’all from?
John: England.
Cute server and co-worker:(Look at each other and resume laughing)…….
John: London, England.
Cute server: (Turning to me) M’am, do you know what he’s saying? 
Shelley: I have no idea. I’m not with him. But this is what I would like…
John: Jesus Christ Shelley.Thanks a lot.
 
Language aside, we had a great time, especially in “The French Quarter” in New Orleans.
 

 
And of course, you can’t leave Lousiana without taking a swamp tour. Although all of the large, (up to 200 year old, 17 foot) alligators were hibernating for winter(darn), 2 small ones made an appearance. Our tour guide, Laurence Joseph, entertained us for two hours sharing stories, information, opinions and advice. We now know how the Saints ended up winning the Super Bowl, that raccoons don’t have saliva glands, how vultures are beauuutiful and necessary and how to survive without food and water in a swamp. 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
However, without a doubt”the” most important advice LJ gave us was how to escape an alligator attack. 
 
We will definitely be back.


Shelley and John
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