Do You Know Where Your Money is? Seriously, do you?

A conversation my husband, John and I had, while travelling in our fifth wheel through the States.

John: Isn’t it interesting how many single people we’ve met traveling on their own?
Shelley: Yes. And how genuinely happy they are, traveling that way.
John: I’d hate that. Wouldn’t you?
Shelley: ……..
John: Not funny.
Shelley: God. I’m kidding. You know I’d hate to be on my own. Just think how hard it would be to find and train your replacement.
John: I don’t need to train “your” replacement. “Helga,” the Swedish Nurse, doesn’t need any training.
Shelley: Of course she doesn’t. But she does need to be paid. Have you thought of that? I know how you like to plan.
John: Yehassss. Gawd.
Shelley: So, how would you pay her?
John: Cold. Hard. Cash.
Shelley: Excellent. From which account? Specifically.
Road runner
Shelley: Ha! You don’t have a clue where the money is.
John: Shelley, that’s not fair. I’ve tried to learn, but you get so impatient with me, that it’s not worth it.
Shelley: That’s because when you actually do sit down, you can’t sit still. 
John: Not true.
Shelley: Really? Then let’s sit down right now and I’ll explain where everything is.
John: Now?
Shelley: Now.
John: Can I leave the basketball on?
Shelley: And, there you have it.
John: Now “I’m” kidding. Right. Go ahead.
Shelley: First of all, you can track most of the money ……. What are you doing?
John: I was going to put the kettle on. Not now of course. Later?
Shelley:.. First of all, you can track most of the money… ahh… most of the money…. Jesus Christ. Can’t you just sit still for a moment? 
John: Sorry. Dust makes my eyes itchy. Ha! Ha! Remember when Susan would say that? 
Shelley: And, we’re done.
John: Come on honey. Go ahead. I’m listening… tracking most of the money. See?
Shelley: But you have to know which site I’m on. And learn the login and password codes. @#$& it. This is a waste of time. I knew this would happen. I’m going for a walk.
John: Wait! How about we do this in stages? 
Shelley: … Last chance. I’m going to write the basics on this paper. Then, I’m going for that walk. If you’re really serious about this, you’ll have memorized all of it by the time I get back. Otherwise…
John: You’ve got it. I promise. I’ll show you.
Shelley:.. There. (Passes John the paper) I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. 
John: I’ll be done in five. 
Shelley: Fifteen. (Leaves)
John:(Opens the note) Oh. No.
Account #1: 48563094763423422934792735275975932759237927597115
Password: (^&^%BWYUajerkjnc!@#!@#!$!$!@QEDFGdfgdfvnjdf@#$$&
Account #2: 
#$!$%^*^^*&^#$Q%#Q$&** GSVRSIVMIRTMQtvsnco)((*&&
Account #3: 
Shelley and John

One thought on “Do You Know Where Your Money is? Seriously, do you?

  1. Pingback: I Need a Wife | Honey Did you See that?

Enjoyed the post? Have a similar story? Have a better story? Here's your chance!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s