How to Stay Happily Married Tip #6 Be Patient

John wanted to be in Palm Springs. By noon. 
Shelley: Why don’t we sort out my glasses first and then take care of the tires? It won’t take long.
What John thinks: “That” is not true. But, she’s a little rattled from working on the accounts this morning. Ahhh…
What John says: Great idea.
Shelley: Hi. I’m Shelley and I need a new pair of glasses. 
Lyndon: Hey. I’m Lyndon.  Do you want to put the new lenses in the old frames?
Shelley: Oh I wish but, I lost them. Just my luck that they were the expensive, progressive ones. 
What John thinks: Noooooo!!! She’s going to chat. Please be a no nonsense, non-chatty, kind of salesman.
What John says: Hi.
Lyndon: That is some seriously bad luck. What happened? 
What John thinks: And here we go.

What John says: I’ll just sit over here.

Shelley: Well, we were visiting the National White Sands Monument and the next thing I knew, they were gone. We tried to find them, but, (blah blah blah)……
Lyndon: I’ve never been to (blah blah blah)……
What John thinks: 

What John says: (Nothing. There’s no point.)

Lyndon: Let me show you some frames.
Shelley: OK. But I’m going to warn you that I’m on a strict financial budget, so they can’t be too pricey.
What John thinks: But apparently not on a strict time budget. 20 minutes and she hasn’t even started. 
What John says: Don’t rush. I’ll just read this.

Shelley: John, what about these?

What John thinks: Nice.
What John says: Nice.
Shelley: Oh… I just don’t know. These?

What John thinks: Also Nice?
What John says: Nice.
Shelley: Ummm. Just not sure. These?
What John thinks: Jesus Christ, Shelley. They all look the same. Just pick a pair and we can still be at the garage to get the new tires by 11:00.

What John says: Take your time. I don’t want you to be unhappy with them.
Lyndon: Shelley, I know that you’ve tried on only black. But, some people like their glasses to be more neutral. Try these.

Shelley: Look at this hair. Do you really think I worry about being  neutral?
Shelley and Lyndon: Ha! Ha! Ha!

What John thinks: They’re killing me.
What John says: I’ll just get my book. 

Shelley: Oh Lyndon, I just can’t make up my mind. What about something way out there? Just for fun.
Lyndon: I have just the thing. Wait here….
What John thinks: ( No. Dear. God. No.)
Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! You “have” to put a pair on with me. John, take our picture? Aren’t these hysterical?
What John thinks: (*#$%ing hysterical)
What John says: Hysterical.

Shelley: I just don’t know. Can I try on that first black pair again?
Lyndon: Of course. John, would you like some pistachios?
What John thinks: (Of course I would. It’s lunchtime)
What John says: Thank you.
Shelley: It’s down to the red or the black. Which ones?

What John thinks:(I don’t care.)
What John says: The red. Definitely the red.
Shelley: It’s settled then. I’ll take the black ones.

Shelley: Wasn’t that fun? 
What John thinks: Un@#%ing believably fun.
What John say: Wasn’t it just?

Shelley and John


One thought on “How to Stay Happily Married Tip #6 Be Patient

  1. Shelley, you are a brave woman! Buying glasses is serious business…how many outfits will the colour compliment…does this frame make my face look fat…do I look intelligent in a non-threatening way…is the frame in style now, and it will it be in style for how many months down the road??? Then of course is the matter of actually being able to see out of them without alerting the world that you are wearing bi-focals and you need non-glare because your night vision just isn't quite what it used to be.I think John seemed to have held up reasonably well, considering. I find it useful to make sure Buddy here always has a magazine and a coke but beer might be better for John, more soothing.You should keep working with him on little projects to increase his tolerance level for decisions that take more than five minutes, nail polish is a good one to start with. You will be able to move from there to FMP shoe stores, Victoria Secret and bed linen. Happy shopping!


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