How about hiking on a “Closed to Public” trail, because two people had died the week before, at the beginning of snake season?
Shelley: Whoa. Stop. There’s a snake!
Shelley: There. Crossing the path.
Mom: Didn’t I just say we should each take a club because there might be snakes on the trail?
Shelley, John, Dad: Yes, mom, mother-in-law, Val.
Dad: Wow. That sucker is pretty big.
Mom: It’s a baby, Roy. (Snap)
Mom: I want a good picture. (Snap)
Shelley: Fair enough “Crocodile Dundee.” But, you still don’t know what kind of snake it is.
Mom: I can tell by it’s tongue it’s not poisonous. (Snap)
Mom: Not at all. (Snap) Also, look at it’s head. It’s long. Poisonous snakes don’t have long narrow heads. (Snap)
Shelley: And you know this from your extensive snake research? Dad: Of course. How silly of us! It’s from the phylum, “Idontbiticus,” right Val?
Mom: (Snap) What is wrong with all of you? when I was small, I used to play with snakes all the time. (Snap) I was never bitten. (Snap) Not once. (Snap. Snap. Snap)
John: They wouldn’t dare.
Mom: Ha! Ha! Ha! (Snap)
Shelley: WT? Did you just throw orange peels at it?
Mom: Yes. (Snap) I want it to coil, so it’s head sticks up. Now “that” would make a great picture. (Snap)
John: Oh, it’s a vegetarian snake, then?
Dad: No, John. A fruit snake.
John, Dad: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: Mom! Stop! Daaaaaad!
Dad: You do realize that when a snake coils, it’s in the strike position. Come on Val. That thing can kill you.