How to Stay Happily Married Tip # 7 Watch "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" together.

It was movie night.

0 Minutes in…

John: How about “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy?” 
Shelley: Good choice. It’s a spy movie. Read the book twenty years ago.
John: Drink?
10 minutes in…
John: Hey, that guy plays Sherlock Holmes from the latest miniseries. And, that’s the actor from “Snatch.” There’s Colin Firth. Isn’t that…
Shelley: Shhhhhh…….
20 minutes in…
John: What are they talking about?
Shelley: Not a clue.
John: You read the book.
Shelley: I know, but I forgot everything. And, you keep talking when they’re talking. So, I keep missing what’s going on. Shhhhhh!!!
30 minutes in…
John: For @#$# sake. What’s happening? 
Shelley: I think, because that brown haired guy was killed in Budapest, those two old boys were fired. One of them is Gary Oldman.
John: And he was nominated for this? 
Shelley: Shhhhhh!!!
40 minutes in…
Shelley: Wait a sec. How does that guy have anything to do with anything?
John: Who knows? Because “I” haven’t read the book.
Shelley: OMG! It was a long time ago. Shhhhhh!!!
50 minutes in…
Shelley: Aha! When Gary Oldman wears the red glasses, it’s a flashback. And, when he wears the black ones, it’s present day.
John: So, what’s happening?
Shelley: Beats me. But, help me, or Shhhhhh!!!
60 minutes in…
Shelley: This movie is so confusing.
John: Worst movie ever. You told me this was a spy movie.  That means an action movie. An action movie has little or no dialogue, chase scenes, shooting, maybe knifing, things blowing up and lots of people dying. Only one person has died in this movie and we’re an hour in. 
Shelley: Jesus. Are you going to help me figure this out or not? 
John: Not. I’m done.
Shelley: Fine. Shhhhhh!!!
 
1 hour 10 minutes in…
John: Drink?
Shelley: Wine not? Ha! Ha! Get it?
John: More than this stupid movie.
Shelley: Shhhhhh!!!

1 hour and 20 minutes in…
Shelley: Who’s she????
John: Who cares?
Shelley: Shhhhhh!!!
 
1 hour and 30 minutes in…
Shelley: I thought that guy was dead. 
John: I wish “I” was dead.
Shelley: Shhhhhh!!!
1 hour and 40 minutes in…
John: I’m just going to shut my eyes and listen.  
Shelley: Open your eyes. Quick! Someone’s going to be shot! Sorry, same shooting scene from the beginning.
John: Shhhhhh!!!
Shelley: Ha! Ha!
 
1 hour and 50 minutes in…
John: The battery is dying. Have to turn it off.
Shelley: No! Don’t you dare. Don’t you want to know who the mole is?
John: No.
2 hours in…
Shelley: WHAT????? HE’S THE MOLE???  Jesus. I don’t get it. I really don’t get it. I thought, because I read the book, I would remember at least the main idea. But, nothing. No memory of anything. I wasted two hours of my life trying to figure out this stupid, hyped up, dumb movie. Arghhhh!!!! So frustrating. 
John: I told you to turn it off. But, oh no, you insisted on watching the entire thing.
Shelley: What. Did. You. Just. Say?
John:…. I said, “Why don’t we call one of the boys. I bet they’ve seen it.”
 Shelley and John
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