How to Make Friends in The Comox Valley Part 3 Out with Zumba and In With Rugby

Warning: “We” rugby players swear. A lot. Therefore, in order not to offend anyone, I have used @#$#*!!! for all of the swears.

Also, I have not used names of possible new friends, just in case I jinx it…

Our “finding friends thing” continues because Zumba didn’t quite work out. Besides, some “friend” stole our camera, while we were Zumbaing. @#$#*er!!!  And the Comox Paddling Club has yet to have a paddle. So, we went to touch rugby on Thursday which was organized by the Comox Valley Kickers Rugby Club.  I didn’t take my camera, as I didn’t want people to think I was not cool. (Actually, that’s a lie. I forgot it.) In order to give you a visual of the evening, John and I reenacted the highlights (With a football. BTW Who stole our rugby ball? @#$#*ers!!! ).

6:30 A couple of female players get out of their cars…
Blonde Girl: Hey Brunette Girl!!!You @#$@er!!! Where’ve you been?
Brunette Girl: Hey @#$#*er!!! How’s it going? @#$#*!!!

Shelley: Begins lacing up her “new” $15 rugby boots… (Actually second hand from Blue Toque
John: No Shelley. Rugby players never wear their boots to the pitch. They carry them. It’s not cool.
Shelley: OK. OK. Thanks. I do want to be cool. Holy @#$#*!!! I’m a little nervous. I haven’t really played touch rugby. You’ve played rugby all of your life. OMG! Those guys are huge and… Yikes!!! Look at those girls. One has a Canadian National Jersey on. She could easily kill me with one touch. I don’t want to get hurt. I think I’m going to just watch.
John: Shelley, it’s touch. Come on, you bought your first ever pair of rugby boots for this.

No one ‘s going to get hurt. Rugby players are the friendliest bunch in the world. Remember, we’re here to make friends.
Shelley: OK. OK. You’re right. Let’s do this.

6:40 Shelley and John warm up…

6:45 Referee blows his whistle…

Referee: OK, you @#$#*ers!!! A reminder, it’s touch. No @#$#*ing!!! tackling. It’s supposed to be a @#$@ing!!! fast game. If you can’t sprint, get off the @#$#*ing!!! field. Seven on seven. Come on ladies. Each team needs at least one of you. @#$#*!!! You in pink. What are you waiting for? A @#$#*ing!!! invitation? @#$#*!!! 

6:50 Roll ball. Pass to scary huge young male rugby player. Pass to blonde girl. Pass to me.
Shelley: (Fakes left. Fakes right. Stutter steps. Sees a scary huge young male rugby player steaming towards her out of the corner of her eye. Runs like her life depends on it. (It does)… and.. and… TRY!!!! A @#$#*ing!!! TRY!!!

John: (Goes with the dummy, {a fake pass,} shoots past scary huge young male rugby player.)

Referee: Hey! @#$#*ing!!! scary huge young male rugby player! An old guy just beat you… Sorry, John.
Everyone but scary huge young rugby player: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

7:20  The other team has the ball. It’s passed all the way to scary huge young male rugby player.
Scary huge young male rugby player: (Covers the ball. Lowers his shoulder. Charges.)    Roaarrrrrrrrghhhh!!!

Shelley: Aieeeeeee!
Scary huge young male rugby player: (Stops, but not before landing on Shelley’s foot.) Oh! Sorry. Sorry. I forgot it’s touch. I’ve only played tackle.
Pony Tail Girl: Well then, @#$#*er!!! Time for you to learn the @#$#*ing!!! rules of the game.
Shelley: (She could be my friend.) Ha! Ha! Ha! Right? Hi. I’m Shelley. (Want to be my friend?)

John: (throws out the “old scissor move.” Beats one… two… three… all of the scary huge young male rugby players and one… two… three… the not so scary normal male rugby players and one…two… three…the really scary female rugby players!)

John: (Take that you @#$#*ing!!! youngsters!!!… How’s that for an old man? Huh? Huh?)

Shelley: (Intercepts a pass. Runs. Hears pounding foot steps getting closer and closer. Has fear. Runs faster. She is not stupid. Passes to scary huge young male rugby player.) Here!!!
Everyone: Give it back to her, you @#$#*er!!!
Scary huge young male rugby player: Here. Go. Quickly!!!
Shelley: (Is flustered. Puts the ball on the ground for her second try. Is elated. Proud.)
Scary huge young male rugby player from the other team: Hey. She touched it down before the try line.
All the scary huge young male rugby players from my team: Shut up, you @#$#*er!!! It counts.
Ref: TRY!!!

John: (pulls his groin)

8:00  Game over. Beer time.
Pony Tail Girl: Where are you two from?

There’s hope. But to put a little insurance in the bank, we registered for a 10K race on the weekend. At my pace, people like to chat.

Shelley and John


One thought on “How to Make Friends in The Comox Valley Part 3 Out with Zumba and In With Rugby

  1. Pingback: Be Nice to me or I’ll Blog About You | Honey Did you See That?

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