Day 1 of the bathroom renovation…
Shelley: Are you sure you know how to do that? Should we call Shenley for help?
John: Yes, I “know” how to take down towel racks and cabinets. No, we “don’t” need to call Shenley. Have a little faith. Jesus Christ Shelley.
Shelley: Sorry. Sorry. What’s next?
John: We need to take out the vanity… which is attached to the wall…and the plumbing.
John: This is taking way longer than I wanted it to. And, all this mess annoys me. I can’t even walk through the hall without bumping into something. Stop walking. You’re tracking dust every where.
Shelley: I’m painting. Not walking. Stop it! You’re annoyed because it’s taking more than one day. The upstairs took almost 10 weeks. Be reasonable.
John: I am reasonable. I can’t help it if I don’t like to live in a construction zone.
Day 3 of the bathroom renovation…
Shenley: Oh darn. Do you have any DAP?
John: No worries. I’ll run to Home Depot and buy some.
Shenley: Shoot. I thought I had wall screws.
John: I’m already out the door to Home Depot.
Shenley: Sorry John. Let’s try that again.
John: It’s heartening to know that experienced people don’t always get it right the first time.
Shenley: Oh my. Looks like we’re out of silicone.
John: Consider it done.
Day 5 of the bathroom renovation…
Shenley: Push it really hard.
Shelley: But, that’s not straight.
Shenley: Yes it is. Look. I’ll put the leveler on top. See. It’s straight.
Shelley: I’m talking about the screws.
John: No one’s going to see them.
Shelley: I will.
Shenley: @#$*! We need to go to Home Depot and get a Pvalve.
John: No… I’ll go. I don’t know what a @#$*!ing Pvalve is. But, I’ll go.
John: Try this. It’s faster.
Shenley: Just screw it in.
John: @#$*! it. I’ll go to Home Depot. We should be buying shares in @#$*ing! Home Depot with the amount of money we’ve dropped there.
Shenley: Googly! Googly!
John: Get that thing off me!
John/Shenley: That’s what she said. Heh! Heh! Heh!
Shenley: Ya! That @#$*er! is not going anywhere.
Shelley: But, the light… and the mirror… and the vanity aren’t level. They’re uneven.
Shenley: @#$*! The light is off. I checked it with the leveler too. @#$*!
Shelley: Can you fix it?
Shenley: The problem is, if we make another hole, it will be too close to the original hole, and it will lose it’s strength.
Shenley: Look. Maybe if we prop up the mirror by putting this in the clamp it will even everything out more. There. Now it’s only off by less than a centimetre. Better?
Shelley:.… Better. Oh Shenley. I’m sorry. I’m such a …. You’re right. It’s less than a centimetre. No one would notice it unless we told them. We’re so grateful that you came and helped us. Of course it’s better.
Day 5 4:30 AM
Shelley: I can’t sleep. Promise me we’ll try to level out the light, the mirror and the vanity.
Shelley: John? I can’t sleep unless you promise.
John: For @#$*! sake. I promise. Go to sleep.
Thanks tons and tons Shenley for all of your help and patience!
Shelley and John