How to Stay Happily Married Tip #8 Do a Bathroom Renovation Together… With Help of Course

Want to stay happily married? Try a DIY Bathroom reno. together. Really. How hard can it be?

Day 1 of the bathroom renovation…
Shelley: Are you sure you know how to do that? Should we call Shenley for help?
John: Yes, I “know” how to take down towel racks and cabinets. No, we “don’t” need to call Shenley. Have a little faith. Jesus Christ Shelley.

Shelley: Sorry. Sorry. What’s next?
John: We need to take out the vanity… which is attached to the wall…and the plumbing.

Shelley: What are you doing?
John: Calling Shenley.
Day 2 of the bathroom renovation…

John: This is taking way longer than I wanted it to. And, all this mess annoys me. I can’t even walk through the hall without bumping into something. Stop walking. You’re tracking dust every where.

Shelley: I’m painting. Not walking. Stop it! You’re annoyed because it’s taking more than one day. The upstairs took almost 10 weeks. Be reasonable.
John: I am reasonable. I can’t help it if I don’t like to live in a construction zone.

Day 3 of the bathroom renovation…
Shenley: Oh darn. Do you have any DAP?
John: No worries. I’ll run to Home Depot and buy some.

Shenley: Oh my goodness. I left my nail gun at home.
John: It’ll only take me 10 minutes to get it.

Shenley: Shoot. I thought I had wall screws.
John: I’m already out the door to Home Depot.

Shenley: Sorry John. Let’s try that again.
John: It’s heartening to know that experienced people don’t always get it right the first time.

Shenley: Oh my. Looks like we’re out of silicone.
John: Consider it done.

John: Shucks. That didn’t work.
Shenley: That happens some times. Not a big deal. Let’s try it again.

Day 5 of the bathroom renovation…

John: @#$*!  It’s not tightening because I’ve got the setting on @#$ing loosen.
Shenley: @#$*

Shenley: Push it really hard.

John/Shenley: That’s what she said. Heh! Heh! Heh!
Shenley: Oh, you @#$*er!!! It came apart again. This stuff is fragile.

Shelley: But, that’s not straight.
Shenley: Yes it is. Look. I’ll put the leveler on top. See. It’s straight.
Shelley: I’m talking about the screws.
John: No one’s going to see them.
Shelley: I will.

Shenley: @#$*We need to go to Home Depot and get a Pvalve.
John: No… I’ll go. I don’t know what a @#$*!ing Pvalve is. But, I’ll go.

John: Try this. It’s faster.

John/Shenley: That’s what she said. Heh! Heh! Heh!
Shenley: Son of a @#$*! You @#$*er!!!

Shenley: Just screw it in.
John/Shenley: That’s what she said. Heh! Heh! Heh!

Shelley: Ahhhhh!!!  @#$*It’s not there.

John: @#$*! it. I’ll go to Home Depot. We should be buying shares in @#$*ing! Home Depot with the amount of money we’ve dropped there.


Shenley: Get in there.
John/Shenley: That’s what she said. Heh! Heh! Heh!
John: (Steps on a bucket and falls back)  @#$*!!!, @#$*!!!, + 10 more.

Shenley: Googly! Googly!
John: Get that thing off me!
John/Shenley: That’s what she said. Heh! Heh! Heh!

Shenley: Ya! That @#$*er! is not going anywhere.
Shelley: But, the light…  and the mirror…  and the vanity aren’t level. They’re uneven.
Shenley: @#$*! The light is off. I checked it with the leveler too. @#$*!
Shelley: Can you fix it?
Shenley: The problem is, if we make another hole, it will be too close to the original hole, and it will lose it’s strength.
Shenley: Look. Maybe if we prop up the mirror by putting this in the clamp it will even everything out more. There. Now it’s only off by less than a centimetre. Better?
Shelley:.… Better. Oh Shenley. I’m sorry. I’m such a …. You’re right. It’s less than a centimetre. No one would notice it unless we told them. We’re so grateful that you came and helped us. Of course it’s better.

Day 5 4:30 AM

Shelley: I can’t sleep. Promise me we’ll try to level out the light, the mirror and the vanity.
John: Mmphh?
Shelley: John? I can’t sleep unless you promise.
John: For @#$*! sake. I promise. Go to sleep.

Thanks tons and tons Shenley for all of your help and patience!

Shelley and John


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