Life Lessons

  • Always park your new car as far away as possible from other vehicles. Guaranteed no one will hit you.

Just one of the many Life Lessons imparted by Matthew to his 15 year old cousin, Logan. At the end of the visit, we asked Logan what else he remembered.

On vehicles…
  • Do not put diesel into cars that use gas. That will cost you $177.
  • Avoid rolling stops at red lights. That’s worth $420.

On  cooking for “the ladies…”

  • Before preparing food for the ladies, always wash your hands up to your elbows for as long as it takes for you to sing “Happy Birthday.” Fully. Don’t rush the song. 
  • Cook before your lady arrives or…
  • Cook after your lady arrives, if you want to impress her with your cooking skills.
  • Do the dishes as you go, so you don’t get interrupted… like… from a movie?
  • Cheese – you can never have too much cheese or… 
  • meat? 
  • Presentation – always use garnish. It makes food look fancy or taste better… for some reason. Not really sure why.
  • For dessert, serve fresh fruit… No, that’s high school or is that what mom makes me have?

    On reading…

    • Graphic novels are novels. So, they count as reading.

    On archery…

    •  Never ever “dry fire.” (Release the string without an arrow notched) Cost to replace the sighting instrument – 12 bucks.
      On water…
      • Drink water all day long. No, that’s also my mom’s.
        On Cereal…

        • Lucky Charms are healthy. In fact there’s not enough sugar in the charms. Actually, that’s mine.
        On what’s free…

        • Nothing in life is free… except girls. No? Not girls? Oh. Especially not girls.
        On body odours…

        • If your cousins stink, tell them. You would want to be told if you stink. 
        On fishing…
           
        Watch out for the dog fish’s spines. They’ll cut you up. Pretty sure that was from Uncle Shenley.
        • Wear sunscreen and a hat. No, that was from Auntie Shelley.

        On Batman…

        • If Batman fights Superman, Batman wins. Always.
          On the stress of remembering his Life Lessons…

          • OK. That’s enough. My heart is beating like an humming bird from the stress of trying to remember.
          Matt is confident that Logan left us prepared for anything life throws at him. If you feel Matt has failed to include a “Life Lesson, “ please share!
          Shelley and John
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