The Germans are Coming!! The Germans are Coming!! But Don’t Mention the War!

Last week John and I visited Pacific Rim National Park.  
During our previous visits, the weather was God awful. I’m talking freezing torrential rain that lasts for DAYS, WEEKS, YEARS!!!!!! 

OK, I’m exaggerating, but you get the picture. This time, Vancouver Island’s west coast was gloriously calm, sunny and warm. 

Delighted, we checked into the Bella Pacifica. Other RV’s soon joined us…

Shelley: (Whispering from inside the fifth wheel) John come inside, quickly…  Look. I think that couple’s from Germany.

John: Vas? 
Shelley: Sie sind Deutsch.
John: Haben Sie einen Aschenbecher bitte?
Shelley: Oh Ha! Ha! Ha! Wait. So is that couple. And that couple. OMG. And that couple. John! We’re surrounded by Germans!!

John: Vee are surrhounded by ze Germanszha!
Shelley: Shhhhh! They might hear you. 
John: We will fight on the beaches. We will fight on the landing grounds. We will…
Shelley: Winston Churchill, will you stop talking about zee var?
John: Me? You started it.
Shelley: I did not!
John: Yes you did. You invaded Poland.
Shelley and John: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: Stop! No more “Fawlty Towers.” 
John: Vich must be obeyed at all times vitout qvestion!
Shelley: Basil!!!
John: Yes, my little piranha fish?
Shelley and John: Oh Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: Oh no. They’re having problems hooking up their sewer. 

You should go help them. Gehen Sie jetzt.

John: Yes, my leetle Commandant. 
Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! 
John: Why don’t you have another vat of wine dear?
Shelley: You should be happy that I find you funny. You are happy aren’t you?
John: Oh happy. Yes, I remember that. No, not that I noticed, dear. Well, I’ll report if it happens.
Shelley: Ha! Go. But, don’t mention the war. I did once, but I think I got away with it all right.
John: I wonder if they speak english. I will ask them…You speak English? Ah, wonderful! WUNDERBAR!! Ahh! Please allow me to introduce myself, I am John, the owner of this RV. And may I welcome your war… your war… you all to Canada.
Shelley and John: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: And when you’re done, can you please sort out the plug?
John: Yes Sybil. And while I’m at it, shall I move the RV a little to the left?
Shelley: Basil!!
Shelley and John: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: Are you still here, Basil?
John: No. I went a couple of minutes ago. But I expect I’ll be back shortly.
Shelley: Meine Gotte!

Shamelessly stolen and adapted from the Fawlty Tower’s episode aptly titled, “The Germans.” 

Shelley and John

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