Thanksgiving 2012 What I am Truly Thankful For

My Husband John: Yessss! All done.

Shelley: Johhhhnnnn, I was thinking.

John: That’s a first.
Shelley: Ha! Ha! You know how it’s almost impossible to walk around Matt’s bed, right?

John: No. I do not.
Shelley: Don’t be silly. Of course you do. Well, I think we should move the scroll table out of Matt’s bedroom into ours and replace it with the side table from the living room.

John: No. We are not moving furniture with less than twenty minutes to go before the kids get here. No. No. And no.

Shelley: It will only take a few minutes.

John: You said that we were just going to clean.

John: Which I did. I’m done.

Shelley: Oh come on.
John: I like the scroll table exactly where it is.
Shelley: I don’t.
John:…
Shelley: I’ve been talking about moving it for a while. You know that’s true.
John:…
Shelley: What is wrong with you?
John: First of all, you insisted that we sort out the house on the very day we were expecting company, even though we had all week to clean it.
Shelley: I didn’t see the point of cleaning the house twice.
John: And every time I had a suggestion, I was never right.
Shelley: That’s not true. What a load of rubbish.
John: Really? When I suggested that there was no need to pull the furniture out from the wall and then clean because I did it last week, you refused to believe me.
Shelley: But you weren’t telling the truth.
John: That’s not the point, I didn’t think it was necessary.
Shelley: It was.
John: What was I thinking??? How about when I suggested that I move the furniture and you vacuum behind me?
Shelley: That was a good idea. But my suggestion for you to move the furniture and you to vacuum as I mopped behind you was a much better idea.

John: Of course it was.

Shelley: Anyway, I don’t know why you are so grumpy. I’m the one who should be grumpy. When I backed my bum into the counter top and fell to the floor horribly bruised, writhing in pain, you kept on cleaning.
John: That’s because I didn’t hear you, as I was vacuuming, as instructed by you, which, by the way, you pointed out I was doing incorrectly!!!!

Shelley: You vacuumed the coffee table!
John: Everyone does that! @#$%!!!!
Shelley: With the power head attached?
John: Many wives would be thankful if their husbands helped them with the cleaning!!! BUT NOT YOU!
Shelley:…
John:…
Shelley: I am thankful. I really am. But, Shannon (my sister) has a bad back. We really should move the table. Please.

John:… Where do you want it?

Shelley: Thank you. How about against that wall?

… Ummm. No. That does not work for me… Right here… Uhhh no… That’s not right… Maybe over there?… Better… But…

Can you move it a little to the left?…

No… a little to the right… Hmmm….

John: Jesus Christ Shelley!!! Can you please make up your mind???
Shelley: Sorry. Sorry. I’m just trying to… hmmm… No…. You know what? You’re right. It doesn’t work in our bedroom. Not at all. Let’s just put it back in Matt’s. Shannon can sleep on the other side. See, I do take your suggestions.