The following is the Comox Valley forecast for the next seven days:
Rain. Rain and more bloody Rain.
However, I am determined to look on the bright side. If John and I could survive living in Northern Newfoundland for two years, this week should be a piece of cake…
Shelley: John! Something’s wrong. There’s no water in the bathroom.
John: Did you try the bathtub?
John: Flushing the toilet?
Shelley and John:… S@#$!!!
John: There’s got to be a reasonable explanation. I’ll go ask next door.
John: Bad news. According to Frank, “The Irving Guy”, our water pipes are frozen.
John: Our water pipes are frozen. Apparently everyone’s pipes always freeze in the winter.
Shelley: Everyone’s pipes always freeze in the winter? Are you kidding me? It’s 1982 and no one has figured out how to prevent this?
John: Something about perma frost.
Shelley: Perma frost?
John: He told me we should not panic.
Shelley: Not panic?
John: Yes. As they’ll thaw in the spring.
Shelley: They’ll thaw in the spring? But it’s the middle of January.
John: He suggested that we go to the Co-op and get some salt beef buckets. And an axe. He said the nearest fresh water pond is only about a half kilometre away.
Shelley: Only a half kilometre?
Shelley: But, how? Our car is buried somewhere out there from the last storm. We don’t even own a ski-doo.
John: He said we could borrow his sled.
Shelley: His sled?
John: Yes. To haul the water.
Shelley: Let me get this straight. In the middle of a snow storm, with temperatures below 25 degrees Celsius, not factoring in the wind chill, we’re going to walk to a fresh water pond, in waste deep snow, chop a hole in the ice, scoop water into buckets, then haul it back to the house, on a sled?
John: Our other choice is to go just outside the front door, scoop ice and snow into the buckets, then melt it.
Shelley: This is not supposed to happen to newlyweds. We’ve only been married for two weeks. Theoretically we’re still on our honeymoon.
John: We need to look on the bright side. At least our sewage pipes aren’t frozen.
Shelley and John:…S@#$!!!!!!
PS: I received a comment saying that it was a good thing the sewage pipes didn’t freeze. They did. My editor, my husband, said people wouldn’t guess that. He was right. Maybe I should write a Part B called, “S@#% my Husband says Thinks While Sorting out Frozen Sewage Pipes”
Shelley and John