When it Comes to Weather, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life


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The following is the Comox Valley forecast for the next seven days:

Rain. Rain and more bloody Rain.

However, I am determined to look on the bright side. If John and I could survive living in Northern Newfoundland for two years, this week should be a piece of cake…

flower's cove

Shelley: John! Something’s wrong. There’s no water in the bathroom.

John: Did you try the bathtub?

Shelley: Yes.

John: Flushing the toilet?

Shelley: Nothing.

Shelley and John:S@#$!!!

John: There’s got to be a reasonable explanation. I’ll go ask next door.

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John: Bad news. According to Frank, “The Irving Guy”, our water pipes are frozen. 

Shelley: Whaaaaaat? 

John: Our water pipes are frozen. Apparently everyone’s pipes always freeze in the winter.

Shelley: Everyone’s pipes always freeze in the winter? Are you kidding me? It’s 1982 and no one has figured out how to prevent this?

John: Something about perma frost.

Shelley: Perma frost?

John: He told me we should not panic. 

Shelley: Not panic?

John: Yes. As they’ll thaw in the spring.

Shelley: They’ll thaw in the spring? But it’s the middle of January. 

John: He suggested that we go to the Co-op and get some salt beef buckets. And an axe. He said the nearest fresh water pond is only about a half kilometre away.

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Shelley: Only a half kilometre?

John: Yes.

Shelley: But, how? Our car is buried somewhere out there from the last storm. We don’t even own a ski-doo. 

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John: He said we could borrow his sled.

Shelley: His sled?

John: Yes. To haul the water.

Shelley: Let me get this straight. In the middle of a snow storm, with temperatures below 25 degrees Celsius, not factoring in the wind chill, we’re going to walk to a fresh water pond, in waste deep snow, chop a hole in the ice, scoop water into buckets, then haul it back to the house, on a sled?

John: Our other choice is to go just outside the front door, scoop ice and snow into the buckets, then melt it.

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Shelley: This is not supposed to happen to newlyweds. We’ve only been married for two weeks. Theoretically we’re still on our honeymoon.

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John: We need to look on the bright side. At least our sewage pipes aren’t frozen.

Shelley and John:S@#$!!!!!!

PS: I received a comment saying that it was a good thing the sewage pipes didn’t freeze. They did. My editor, my husband, said people wouldn’t guess that. He was right.  Maybe I should write a Part B called, “S@#% my Husband says Thinks While Sorting out Frozen Sewage Pipes”  

Shelley and John

 

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2 thoughts on “When it Comes to Weather, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

  1. Having lived in Northern NB where the temps drop down to -42C with windchill and your snot freezes in a heartbeat, this piece really brings back a lot of great (hahahahaha! excuse me … hahahahahaha!) memories. Seriously, every East Coaster has dealt with “The Irving Guy” at some point … yet somehow I’d forgotten him ’til I read your post. Thanks for the memories!

    Like

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