Oh No You Can’t! Oh Yes We Can!

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Little English Girl: Mummy, I just loved “Jack and the Beanstalk.” Where did Panto’s (Pantomimes) come from?

English Mummy: Well darling, a long long time ago, there was a lovely couple, named Babs and Brian, who lived in Saffron Walden.

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One night, Babs and Brian, and their family and friends were playing  a very very competitive game called, The Humming Game. The women were determined to win this second game of the evening,

Back row: Babs, Helen, WendFront row: Jo, Lorraine, Shelley

Back row: Babs, Helen, Wend
Front row: Jo, Lorraine, Shelley

as the men had already handily beaten the girls in Password, despite Shelley cheating.

Dave, Andrew, John, Brian, Andrew, Front Row:  Brian H.

Dave, Andrew, John, Brian, Andrew, Front Row: Brian H.

The Girls: Come on Jo. We can beat those sanctimonious, arrogant, bragging men!

Shelley’s niece, Jo: Oh no. I don’t know this song. I can’t hum this.

Shelley: I’ll do it. I’ll do it! Let me see… John, what is it? Ahhhh. That is hard. Never mind. Here goes. Hmm. Hm. Mmmmphhhh. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

The Girls:

Charades

Shelley: Hmm. Hm. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

The Girls:

Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m so sorry. But I’m so bad. Hmm. Hm. 

The Girls:

Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!  Hmm. Hm. Hm….  I just can’t do this. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shelley and the Girls: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

The Boys: If you stopped laughing, you could.

Shelley: I’m trying. Hmm. Hm. Hm….  Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh Jesus. Hmm. Hm. Hm….

The Girls: I’ve never heard anything like that before. What is it?

Shelley: It’s because I have a cold. I can barely breathe. And….

The Boys: Come on Shelley. Get on with it.

Shelley: OK. OK. Hmm. Hm. Hm.. Girls! You can do this!

The Girls: Do you have a clue? No. Not a clue.

Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! This is terrible. I’m terrible. Even healthy, my humming is only in a three note range. Whewwwweee. I need to stop laughing and blow my nose. I can do this. Ahem.  Right. Here we go. Hmm. Hm. Hm…. Oh no. Oh! Ha!…

The Girls: Is that a song? That’s not a song!

The Boys: Oh yes it is!

The Girls: Oh no it’s not!

The Boys: Oh yes it is! You would get it, if only Shelley would…

Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hmm… Ha! Hm… Ha! Ha! Hm… Ha! Ha! Ha!  Just shout something out.

The Girls: Bohemian Rhapsody? Top Cat? Bread of Heaven? Sound of Music?

Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!  Can I just sit down?

The Boys: No. You have to stay up there until your team guesses.

Shelley: Oh God. What a bunch of Baddies. I’m going to be up here forever. Hang on. Hmm. Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm…. Hmm. Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm…. HMM. HM. HM. HM. HM….!!!!!! HMMMM????????

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Shelley, The Boys and the Girls: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shelley: Oh to Hell with it. Forgive me for what I’m about to do. HMM. HM. HM. HM. HM….!!!!!!

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The Girls: Germany’s National Anthem!!!!!!!!!!

Shelley: Yesssssssss!!!!!! 

Shelley and the Girls: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! 

The Boys: Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!  Shelley! You can’t give a straight arm salute and march around Goose Stepping. That’s cheating. Not to mention politically incorrect.

The Girls: Oh yes we can!

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The Boys: Oh no you can’t!

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The Girls: Oh yes we can!

English Mummy: And that, my darling, is where pantomimes came from.

Shelley and John

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