America F#$K Yeah!


Shelley: Holy S@#t!!!

John: What? What?

Shelley: I’m freezing! Turn on the f#$%ing heat!

John: No. If we fall asleep with it on, we could die of propane poisoning

Shelley: Or we could die of exposure. Jesus.

John:  Put on another sweater.

Shelley: I’m already fully clothed under these coversJ@#$% C@#$#$! Why, according to you, do we always have to die? F$%^#!

John: Shelley! Language! It’s time to have another competition to see who can swear the least.

Shelley: I’ll do it if you turn on the heat. What’s the wager?


Shelley: Get rid of the smirk. Never going to happen. When I win, I will have a two hour massage. First one to twenty loses. And heat. Agreed?

John: Agreed, but I’m turning it off once the RV warms up.


John: J@#$%. Shelley, come here. Read this. America F@#$ Yeah.

Shelley: Wow! Welcome to America. BTW. That’s two.

John: S@#$. I forgot.

Shelley: This is too easy. Three.


John: J@#$*. Look at that snow. Snow means ice. S#$t! I don’t have a good feeling about this.

Shelley: We’re good. The road’s dry and I’m driving. Stop worrying. Oh, that’s Five.


Shelley: Whoops. We just missed the turn before the bridge. Sorry.

John: S@#$!!! G@# D@#$ it!

Shelley: John. It’s not a big deal. We’ll just turn around. But your swearing is. Seven. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Maybe I’ll have four, thirty minute sessions. What do you think?

John: J$%^& C@#$%^ Shelley. Candle Stick RV Park costs seventy-eight dollars a night, plus tax. I don’t want to buy the park, I just want to stay one night.

Shelley: And nine.

downtown san fran

John: Holy S@#%zu. Tatiana (Our Tom Tom) is taking us through the middle of downtown San Fransisco. Ha! Ha! Look at everyones’ faces. They’re terrified. F@#$. So am I.


Shelley: You’re doing awesome. And for the record, I feel really do feel bad about this, because you are negotiating 42 feet of truck and RV, but that’s eleven.

John: (Whispering) Shelley. That woman standing over there just said, “F@#$ you. You mother F@#$er.” She’s not with anyone. I think she’s crazy. Let’s take our picture somewhere else.

Shelley: What’d she say?

John:F@#$ you. You mother F@#$er.”

Shelley: Ha! Ha! That’s fifteen. No. We’re fine.

John: D@#% it.

Shelley: And sixteen. Smile.

san fran

John: Hello Verizon. Hello? No. NO!!! Do not put me on hold! DO NOT PUT ME ON F@#$ING HOLD!!! Don’t you dare! Ohhhhhhhhh G@# D@#$ it!! YOU DID PUT ME ON F@#$ING HOLD! Verizon, you have no idea how much I bloody hate you. Oh Jesus, it’s starting again. F@#$%!!


Shelley: Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty- two and  F@#$%!! makes twenty-three!!! Yipppppeeeeee!!!! I won! I WON!!!! I knew I would win. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Should I get the oil now ? Or should I wait? I can’t decide. John, what do you…

Shelley and John

For more marriage tips click here, How to Stay Happily Married.

13 thoughts on “America F#$K Yeah!

  1. oooh language Timothy !!!!! That was a TV sitcom here many years ago by the way!! Glad you got to San F safely. Have fun and keep f@#$ing blogging!!! I know, you’re shocked I would say that but it means ‘flipping’ right? xx


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