Shelley: Holy S@#t!!!
John: What? What?
Shelley: I’m freezing! Turn on the f#$%ing heat!
John: No. If we fall asleep with it on, we could die of propane poisoning
Shelley: Or we could die of exposure. Jesus.
John: Put on another sweater.
Shelley: I’m already fully clothed under these covers. J@#$% C@#$#$! Why, according to you, do we always have to die? F$%^#!
John: Shelley! Language! It’s time to have another competition to see who can swear the least.
Shelley: I’ll do it if you turn on the heat. What’s the wager?
Shelley: Get rid of the smirk. Never going to happen. When I win, I will have a two hour massage. First one to twenty loses. And heat. Agreed?
John: Agreed, but I’m turning it off once the RV warms up.
John: J@#$%. Shelley, come here. Read this. America F@#$ Yeah.
Shelley: Wow! Welcome to America. BTW. That’s two.
John: S@#$. I forgot.
Shelley: This is too easy. Three.
John: J@#$*. Look at that snow. Snow means ice. S#$t! I don’t have a good feeling about this.
Shelley: We’re good. The road’s dry and I’m driving. Stop worrying. Oh, that’s Five.
Shelley: Whoops. We just missed the turn before the bridge. Sorry.
John: S@#$!!! G@# D@#$ it!
Shelley: John. It’s not a big deal. We’ll just turn around. But your swearing is. Seven. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Maybe I’ll have four, thirty minute sessions. What do you think?
John: J$%^& C@#$%^ Shelley. Candle Stick RV Park costs seventy-eight dollars a night, plus tax. I don’t want to buy the park, I just want to stay one night.
Shelley: And nine.
John: Holy S@#%zu. Tatiana (Our Tom Tom) is taking us through the middle of downtown San Fransisco. Ha! Ha! Look at everyones’ faces. They’re terrified. F@#$. So am I.
Shelley: You’re doing awesome. And for the record, I feel really do feel bad about this, because you are negotiating 42 feet of truck and RV, but that’s eleven.
John: (Whispering) Shelley. That woman standing over there just said, “F@#$ you. You mother F@#$er.” She’s not with anyone. I think she’s crazy. Let’s take our picture somewhere else.
Shelley: What’d she say?
John:“F@#$ you. You mother F@#$er.”
Shelley: Ha! Ha! That’s fifteen. No. We’re fine.
John: D@#% it.
Shelley: And sixteen. Smile.
John: Hello Verizon. Hello? No. NO!!! Do not put me on hold! DO NOT PUT ME ON F@#$ING HOLD!!! Don’t you dare! Ohhhhhhhhh G@# D@#$ it!! YOU DID PUT ME ON F@#$ING HOLD! Verizon, you have no idea how much I bloody hate you. Oh Jesus, it’s starting again. F@#$%!!
Shelley: Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty- two and F@#$%!! makes twenty-three!!! Yipppppeeeeee!!!! I won! I WON!!!! I knew I would win. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Should I get the oil now ? Or should I wait? I can’t decide. John, what do you…
Shelley and John