Daily Prompt: Sliced Bread is Nothing Compared to Retirement

Daily Prompt: Sliced Bread

Most of us have heard the saying, “That’s the best thing since sliced bread!” What do you think is actually the best thing since sliced bread?

Retirement, hands down, is actually the best thing since sliced bread. Being retired has  gives us the freedom to do whatever we want.

John: Should we bike, run, hike, sight see tomorrow?

Sun Dial Bridge Redding, Ca.

Shelley: Yes. We’re retired.

John: Jesus Christ Shelley. Do you really think you’re supposed to throw the bocce ball as far as you can?

Shelley: Yes. I’m retired.

John: Shelley. Come on. Even playing by the “Smith Rules of Golf” don’t you think hitting five balls off the tee is a bit excessive?

Shelley: No. I’m retired.

Parking Cop: You can’t park there.

Shelley: Oh yes we can. We’re retired. (Kidding. That will never happen with the Smiths. American Police scare the Doo Doo out of us.)

Theatre, Restaurant, California Tech Basketball Ticket Sellers: Would you like the Senior discount?

John: Do I look that old?

Theatre, Restaurant, California Tech Basketball Ticket Sellers:…

John: Sigh. I guess so. We’re retired.

John: Glass of wine?

Shelley: Wine not? We’re retired? Get it? Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

John: Do you think watching the third episode of “Homeland” in a row is too much?

Shelley: No. We’re retired.

John: Do you think we should set the alarm clock for tomorrow morning?

Shelley: No need. We’re retired.

Shelley: What the heck is that sticking into my back? Oh. It’s pop corn. Munch. Munch. Munch.

John: Euhhhhh. Did you just eat the pop corn that you’ve been lying on in bed?

Shelley: Heh. Heh. Heh.

John: That’s gross. Do you think you should have done that?

Shelley: Yes. I’m retired.

Shelley: Huh? Gak. Gak. Gak. Holy Caahhhrrisssttt!!! I can’t breathe. I CAN’T BREATHE!!! THE SMELL IS KILLING ME!!  GO TO THE TOILET!! You can’t do that in the bed.

John: Oh yes I can. I’m retired.

Shelley and John