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Yesterday I had a pathetic cough. You know, the “ackeh ackeh” kind. It was nothing. Today is different. Because today


In case you’re wondering if you have the flu, here are the 10 signs.


  1. It’s 12:00 PM and you’re still in bed.
  2. You don’t care that it’s 12:00 PM and you’re still in bed.
  3. Your eyes hurt if you move them. So you don’t.
  4. If you drop something, you mutter, “F@#$ it,” and leave it, otherwise you’ll tip over.
  5. Your joints feel that they have just completed the third round on the “Stretch Rack.” stretching_rack_1-556x368
  6. Your head aches so badly, that you are willing to take any drug, regardless of possible negative effects, as long as there is a chance you will feel better.
  7. In fact, you just swallowed a mystery tablet you found lying on your bed.
  8. You pay $150 for a visit the Emergency Doctor in the hopes of getting even more drugs.
  9. TV, books, internet, Facebook, food, drink, family, famine, death, life, etc. etc. does not interest you.
  10. You don’t care who wins The Super Bowl. You just don’t.


Shelley and John


15 thoughts on “I. HAVE. THE. FLU.

  1. Hmm, if I was suffering from just #10, could I use that as an excuse to say I have the flu and get out work (it’s a little bit too late now but could be good to know for next year)? How serious is #10 in the grand scheme of thing?


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