I’ve Had a F@#$ of a Day

phone

8:00 PM, 1987…

RING! RING! RING!

Shelley: Hello?

John: I’ve had a F@#$ of a day.

Shelley: Oh. Oh.

John: I’ll be home in less than twenty minutes. You know what to do.

Shelley: What happened?

John: I don’t want to talk about it.

Shelley: “Get your knickers off”  bad?

John: Worse.

Shelley: Gasp. I’ll do my best.

John: Don’t forget the Stilettoes.

RING! RING! RING!

Shelley: Hello.

Lisa, my volleyball teammate: Hey Shelley.

Shelley: Hey. What’s up?

Lisa: Just to let you know that tomorrow we play at 8:00.

Shelley: S#%&. John just drove up. S#%&.

Lisa: What’s that?

Shelley: Nothing. Sorry, go ahead.

Lisa: So everyone needs to be there…

Shelley: Garble. Garble.

Lisa: by 7:30. Does that work for you?

Shelley: Garble. Garble.

Lisa: What are you doing?

Shelley: I’m taking off all of my clothes.

Lisa: What? Why?

Shelley: John’s coming up the stairs. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go.

 Lisa: But..

Shelley: See you tomorrow. Byeeeeeee. Well, hello there Big Boy.  Did you have a Baaaadddd Daaayyyyyy??? Hmmmmmmm? 

John: It’s getting better. Wow! Stilettos too. Come here. Grrrroooowwwllllll!!!!!

Shelley: John! Put me down!

John: Shhhhhhh… You’ll wake the kids.

Shelley and John: Mmmmm….  Kiss. Kiss. Kiss… Snuggle… Snuggle…

John: Huh? What’s that?

Shelley: What?

John: I hear something. Can you?

Shelley: No. Now where were we?

John: I’m sure I hear something… Listen.

Shelley: Still a no.

John: I definitely hear something.

Shelley: Sighhhhhhhhh. It’s probably the TV.  Stay right there.

Lisa: SHELLEY! 

Shelley:!!!

Lisa: SHELLEY! CAN YOU HEAR ME??? 

Shelley: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa: SHHEEEELLLLLEEEEEYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! YOU NEED TO HANG UP THE PHONE!!! HANG UP THE PHONE!!!!!!!

Shelley: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…  How much did you hear?

Lisa: What are Stilettos?

High-heel-shoe

So, in response to,

Daily Prompt: Call Me, Maybe

Describe your relationship with your phone. Is it your lifeline, a buzzing nuisance, or something in between?

I would say somewhere in between.

Shelley and John

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19 thoughts on “I’ve Had a F@#$ of a Day

  1. Pingback: I’ve Had a F@#$ of a Day | get thee to the fucking nunnery

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