As we were attempting to leave the Bull Head City valley….
Tatiana (Our GPS System): Turn around. Turn around, now.
Shelley: Tatiana!!!! You’ve made us drive in circles for the last thirty minutes. What are you doing? How hard is it to get us out of Bull Head City, population…
Tatiana (Our GPS System): In thirty metres, take the next left. Take the next left. Listen to me or else. Listen!!! (OK she didn’t say, “Listen to me or else,” but I know she was thinking that.)
Shelley: Holy Christ! Now you want us to go back to the RV park? Ignore her, John. That’s it! You, young lady, are done. You are going back into the glove compartment. You are going to stay there because I can do this myself. Where’s my map? Jesus. I’m sure I can find one of the two roads heading south without her help. Boy, sometimes I just want to…
John: Now Shelley. You need to be patient. Like me.
Shelley: Ow. Ow. Ow. Was that your halo that just hit me?
John: Very funny. Seriously though, remember that book I had,
Besides it’s Valentine’s Day.
Shelley: Sigh. You’re right. It’s just that… oh never mind. Let’s start again. Tatiana, I’m going to give you one more chance, but if you Fu…., ahem, don’t behave, you are going back in that dingy, dark, glove compartment and won’t ever see the light of day again. Better?
Emerald Cove RV Park….
John: Try it again.
Shelley: Still doesn’t work.
John: Hmmmm… the router cable is attached to the splitter. One cable goes to the TV and the other to the computer. Try again.
Shelley: No. Nothing.
John: Let me switch the cables.… Now?
John: Maybe if I…. Now?
Shelley: No. And we just lost the TV.
John: Mother F@#$errrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Why won’t you work? I’ve tried everything. I even read the instructions…. I know why you won’t work. It’s because that stupid woman, at the front desk, who doesn’t know her Ass from a hole in the ground, gave me the wrong internet cables. Shelley, go to the front desk and get the proper cables.
Shelley: I’ll go. But John, you need to be patient.
John: Do you want internet and TV?
Shelley: Of course I do. But this morning your very words were…
John: I’m doing this for you.
Shelley: I appreciate that. But this morning you said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff and…”
John: Shelley. This is not small. This is big. This is internet and TV.
Happy Valentine’s Day from,
Shelley and John