Daily Prompt: Nightmares
Describe the last nightmare you remember having. What do you think it meant?
Last Monday night, John and I watched “The Biggest Loser.”
Shelley: Holy S@#$!!! Look at Francelina now. She lost almost half of my body weight despite being kicked off the show. Not once did she fall off the fitness wagon. Amazing. I wish I would have had half of her strength and determination when I was preparing for our wedding.
9 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING…
Shelley: Ohhhhhhhh!!!!!! Noooooo! I cant’ close the buttons on my wedding dress. OK. Don’t panic. You know what to do. You are a PE and Health teacher for God’s sake.
8 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING…
Lady #1: Why is Shelley here? My leg weighs more than her entire body.
All the Ladies: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Lady #2 Oh yeah? My arm weighs more than the two of her legs put together.
All the Ladies: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Lady #3: I hearrrrrd that she can’t fit into her wedding dress.
All the Ladies: Ohhhhhhh… What a shame. My goodness. That is too bad. Poor little thing.
TOPS Rep: ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIVE POUNDS!!!!!!
Shelley: Wow. Sharing. I hate to weigh in and run, but I have to teach Night School.
TOPS Rep: Not a problem. Don’t forget to bring a piece of fruit or a dollar next week. “The Biggest Loser” (I kid. She did not say that. But I can’t resist.) wins it all.
7 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING…
TOPS Rep: ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS!!!!! Shelley, you are The Biggest Loser!!! Here’s your fruit and money.
Shelley: Thank you! Thank you! Thank youuuuuu! Must run to Night School. It’s my last night.
6 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING…
TOPS Rep: ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY- SEVEN POUNDS!!!!! Shelley, not only are you not The Biggest Loser!!!, you have tonight’s worst results. What are you thinking?
Shelley: I’m devastated. I’ve cut out salt, sugar, and fried food. I’ve worked out once a day, sometimes twice. Despite dizzy spells and finding myself actually eating my pencil, I never wavered. Not once. Sighhhhhh….
TOPS Rep: Lucky for you, TOPS has a little incentive to help you get back on track. Take this ceramic pig home and place it on top of your fridge.
Every time you open the door, you’ll be reminded of what a little piggy you are.
Shelley: You’re kidding.
TOPS Rep: Ready ladies??
TOPS Rep and All the Ladies: (Loudly. Very.)
FATTY FATTTY TWO BY FOUR!!!!!
COULDN’T GET THROUGH THE BATHROOM DOOR!!!!!!
SO SHE DID IT ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!
FATTY FATTTY TWO BY FOUR!!!!!
TOPS REP: See you next week.
John: That didn’t happen. Did it?
Awe, love at its finest. It only got better from there didn’t it?
LikeLike
Yes, with every pound I lost. 🙂 First year out of Uni. Not pretty!
LikeLike
Look there…The golden age of moustaches!
LikeLike
Late 70’s, early 80’s. You can spot retired military from that amazing time. Thank God John shaved his off pretty soon after the big day, otherwise I would have had to call him Guido.
LikeLike
I remember the tears about the dress and that included Val!!! Beautiful sentiments John and maybe it was the short hairstyle that threw you at the airport? or jet lag or nerves…..I’m trying here!!!
LikeLike
Yes, the hair style. Must have been that! 🙂
LikeLike
Pingback: DREAM ASYLUM ANALYSIS « hastywords
Pingback: Daily Prompt – Nightmares – Flash Fiction / Short Story / Poem – “The Ghost of Poe” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)
Great photos. How times have changed when you look at older pics. You guys look great!
LikeLike
Ha! Ha! That damn dress itched all night long. John lost his moustache soon after that.
LikeLike