Hiker: How are those mountain bikes tracking in the soft sand?
Shelley: Terrible. What were we thinking?
Hiker: Ha! Ha! Take it easy.
Shelley: Seriously, why are we biking on this trail? Why didn’t we hike? Hiking would have been so much easier.
John: I believe your exact words were, “No way are we turning back. Smiths don’t quit!!!!!!”
Shelley: John. Stop. Look at that cactus. We have to take a picture. It reminds me of Andrew’s cactus from his old Playmobil set.
John: Not working. The disc is full.
Shelley: How can that be? I deleted everything. Let me see. Why doesn’t this stupid, old camera work? It’s making me Bat S@#% Loco!!!
John: (Worriedly) Did you take your “Crazy Pills” (Menopause) today?
Shelley: I sure did. Imagine if I hadn’t.
John: Dear God!
Shelley: Do you want to know what else annoys me?
John: Please don’t say how “I” eat.
Shelley: But I want people to admire how well mannered we Smiths are, when we sit at the Head Table.
John: Sorry to disappoint you, but we’re not sitting at the Head Table during Andrew (My son) and Ash’s wedding.
Shelley: Well that sucks. Hmmmm. I have it. If I go to folder, then reformat. Ta Daa!!! So freakin’ smart. Bet you’re glad you married me.
John: You have no idea.
Female Hiker: Let me to take a picture of you two. Smile.
Shelley: Oh I’m sorry. I was talking. Can you take another one?
John: Now there’s a surprise.
Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Hiker: Here you go. Have a great day.
Shelley: Let me look. Ughhhh. How embarrassing! Why didn’t you tell me that this top looks ridiculous?
John: There’s nothing wrong with that top. In fact every man who’s passed you would agree with me.
Shelley: Yeouchhh!!! My arm just brushed that cactus. I wonder if its poisonous. I guess we’ll find out when my arm swells, rots and drops off. It would be a shame though, because I really wanted to look good in my new dress for the wedding.
John: You’ll look great.
Shelley: I sure hope so. Otherwise what would be the point of working out every day? WT??? Where did all these steps come from? How do “real” mountain bikers pop up them? Guess we’re walking. Take my picture. Take my picture!!!!!!!
Shelley: We have to cross a stream!?!?! This is hard core. Seriously hard core. I love Catalina State Park. Let me go first, then I’ll take your picture…. Smile. Let me check.
Ahhh…. you had your head down. Can you go back and bike through it again?
John: This bike ride can not be over soon enough.
Shelley: Now why would you say a thing like that?
Shelley and John