Hiker: How are those mountain bikes tracking in the soft sand?
Shelley: Terrible. What were we thinking?
Hiker: Ha! Ha! Take it easy.
Shelley: Seriously, why are we biking on this trail? Why didn’t we hike? Hiking would have been so much easier.
John: I believe your exact words were, “No way are we turning back. Smiths don’t quit!!!!!!”
Shelley: John. Stop. Look at that cactus. We have to take a picture. It reminds me of Andrew’s cactus from his old Playmobil set.
John: Not working. The disc is full.
Shelley: How can that be? I deleted everything. Let me see. Why doesn’t this stupid, old camera work? It’s making me Bat S@#% Loco!!!
John: (Worriedly) Did you take your “Crazy Pills” (Menopause) today?
Shelley: I sure did. Imagine if I hadn’t.
John: Dear God!
Shelley: Do you want to know what else annoys me?
John: Please don’t say how “I” eat.
Shelley: But I want people to admire how well mannered we Smiths are, when we sit at the Head Table.
John: Sorry to disappoint you, but we’re not sitting at the Head Table during Andrew (My son) and Ash’s wedding.
Shelley: Well that sucks. Hmmmm. I have it. If I go to folder, then reformat. Ta Daa!!! So freakin’ smart. Bet you’re glad you married me.
John: You have no idea.
Female Hiker: Let me to take a picture of you two. Smile.
Shelley: Oh I’m sorry. I was talking. Can you take another one?
John: Now there’s a surprise.
Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Hiker: Here you go. Have a great day.
Shelley: Let me look. Ughhhh. How embarrassing! Why didn’t you tell me that this top looks ridiculous?
John: There’s nothing wrong with that top. In fact every man who’s passed you would agree with me.
Shelley: Yeouchhh!!! My arm just brushed that cactus. I wonder if its poisonous. I guess we’ll find out when my arm swells, rots and drops off. It would be a shame though, because I really wanted to look good in my new dress for the wedding.
If you look closely, you can see the two small, deadly thorns.
John: You’ll look great.
Shelley: I sure hope so. Otherwise what would be the point of working out every day? WT??? Where did all these steps come from? How do “real” mountain bikers pop up them? Guess we’re walking. Take my picture. Take my picture!!!!!!!
Shelley: We have to cross a stream!?!?! This is hard core. Seriously hard core. I love Catalina State Park. Let me go first, then I’ll take your picture…. Smile. Let me check.
Ahhh…. you had your head down. Can you go back and bike through it again?
John: This bike ride can not be over soon enough.
Shelley: Now why would you say a thing like that?
Shelley and John
Honey Did you See That? 
I love your posts. You two are hilarious. 🙂
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Ha! Ha! Thanks. We are waiting to go hiking today but have to change campsites. The air is blue!
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The air is blue?!
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He was swearing up a storm as we couldn’t go until we switched sites. We couldn’t switch sites because the people in our new site were in no hurry to leave. Very funny.
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Oh, I see. So it is figuratively blue. Well, on the bright side, that is much less scary that the air being literally blue. That might be cause for concern.
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🙂
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The more I read your posts, the more I realize – you two are just like me and my husband… Where are you biking? Looks fun.
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I bet we sound like a lot of old married couples. We are in Catalina State Park, 9 miles north of Tucson, waiting, waiting to change sites. It’s getting hot around here! 🙂
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I thought the Mullens were at the head table!
Shelly, do I see cleavage???
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What? You guys are at the head table? WT???? Cleavage??? Where??
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Love your writing!!
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Thanks Nienke. Am wondering how many couples sound like us?
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OMG! That is a funny, funny post. Oddly, reading the post makes me miss you. Now how can that be? Good luck with the head table pipe dream. Go you good things go.
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Ahhhh miss you too, baby. Glad we could make you laugh. By all means share with your friends on Facebook.You never know who is going to make this into a movie!! 🙂
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I agree with John about the top 🙂
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Thanks. But it’s been binned! 🙂
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You cannot bin that!!!
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Oh Yesssssssssss!!!!!
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Strewth, now I’m worried. I’m off into the mountains on the mountain bike in a couple of weeks, would normally be running, walking or climbing over it… Your post is going to haunt me for sure! 😉
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Ha!Ha! Just scrolled through some of your blogs. Somehow I bet you know how to get up those rocks and stairs without getting off your bike. BTW we are recreational sport rock climbers, not quite in your league.
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You are So. Fucking. Hot.
If I looked like you, I would be ALL OVER that top. Do not stop wearing it. (And this is not inappropriate because: 1. I am a girl and I am allowed to make hubba hubba comments about fellow girls, and 2. I am slightly squiffy.
So nernies.
Keep it up hot stuff. Your hubby is a lucky man.
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Ha! Ha! He sure is. He’s off for a run. Am delaying, will go on the Dreadmill later.
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I see nothing wrong with that top at all… nor the cute little jeans shorts.
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Ha!Ha! Thanks. The lady put the old tramp top in the clothing donation bag, but her husband took it back out advising her not to be too hasty!! 🙂 I wanted to write it was a “classic piece of S@#$” but you beat me to it. 🙂
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Congratulations on your nomination for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Go to http://patinspire.org/2013/03/06/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
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Thank you so much for the nomination. Unfortunately I have been nominated before, so I don’t think I can accept. However, it is awesome to be recognized again.
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You inspire many so I am not surprised that someone got to you before I did 🙂 You do an awesome job!
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Awwww thanks so much. Your comments are so encouraging.
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welcome!
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Awesome! You had me giggling all the way through!
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Awww. Thanks so much for reading some back posts. The Smiths are here to entertain. 🙂
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