Pretty Woman


John: And on Sunday, we went to Polo.

Mom and Dad: You’re kidding? We never knew they played Polo in Palm Springs. Tell us about it.


John: You drive your cars right up to the side of the field, and…

Shelley: watch the game from there. People were having tailgating parties. We didn’t, because we didn’t know. But next time we will. Right, John?

John: That’s right. So, there are periods.

Shelley: Chukkas.

John:  Chukkas. Each team consists of 4 players, who play on a 250 yard long playing field.

Shelley: I think it’s 300.

John: I stand corrected. 300. The object of the game is to hit the ball through uprights. If a team scores, you change ends, like in Touch Rugby.


Shelley: Nooooo. Flag Football.

John: Thank-you, dear. There are rules regarding dangerous  play, such as…

Shelley: Such as, you can’t attack the ball from the side. 

John: Yes, and…

Shelley: You can block a swing, that’s called hooking, but only if you’re onside or directly behind the ball.

John: Thank you for finishing my sentences. If you commit a foul, a penalty is awarded and a penalty shot is given. There’s unlimited subbing of ponies.

PicMonkey Collage

Shelley: That’s almost right. Except once your pony leaves the field, it can’t return to the game.


John: Have I gotten anything right?

Shelley: The part where you married me.

Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

John: Maybe, if you don’s stop interrupting me, I’ll return you.


Dad and Mom: You can’t. We paid you two goats, a cow and a chicken. You should have read the small print on the marriage contract. No returns. She’s yours for life.

Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shelley: I’m sooooo sorry. It’s just that I get excited and want to help. But it’s your story. Go on. I’m done interrupting. I promise.

John: You’re sure?

Shelley: Absolutely. You go ahead. You’re doing a great job. Just don’t forget…

John: Shelley!!!

Shelley: I’m kidding. Continue. It’s all yours.

John: Now at half time, the spectators are invited onto the ground to stomp down the divots, while…

PicMonkey Collage

Shelley: while “Pretty Woman” is being played.

John: Jesus Christ Shelley!!! Why don’t you finish the story?

Shelley: No. No. No. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Usually, I let you tell the stories.

John: Not in the last 32 years, that I’m aware of.

Shelley: Ha! Ha! I’ll stop. I mean it this time. God’s honour.

John: I insist.

Shelley: No. finish it.

John: I really do insist. You have no idea how happy it will make me, if you take over the story.

Shelley: Well… OK. But only because you insisted and said it would make you happy. If you stomp down the divots, they serve you free champagne.  Free champagne. You can bet the Smiths were on it and….


Shelley and John


16 thoughts on “Pretty Woman

  1. Oh dear, we’ll have to send the Red Coats back. Definately yes.
    Stamping divots wearing a cloth cap and shorts plus a dog on the course?
    Run woman, run. The FBI will have been instructed by MI6.1 to come and get yer.


    • Sniff. (Sounds from a posh woman) too right for you to point out that the standards of Polo have dropped. I bet in England the dog would never have made it on the field. Thanks for the heads up about the FBI and M16. 🙂


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