Mom: I wonder how much it costs to camp here?
John: Lake Perris costs 45 dollars per night.
Mom: Are there any discounts?
John: No discounts.
Dad: What about if you’re a member of BCAA?
Shelley: Thousand Trails?
Mom: Outdoor World?
John: Aaaaannnnnd “No.”
John: Still a “No.”
John: Not even RPI.
Mom: Coast to Coast?
John: Dear God. No.
Dad: Enjoy America?
Mom: My Two for Ones book?
Dad: My Canadian National Parks Seasonal Pass?
Shelley: My Library Card?
Everyone but John: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
John: NO! NO! AND NO! JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE!!!! THERE ARE NO CAMPING DISCOUNTS OFFERED AT LAKE PERRIS!!!
Shelley: So, “No” to my American Camp Association Membership???
John: That’s it. I’m not answering any more questions. I’m done.
Mom: What about a Senior Discount? There has to be a Senior Discount.
John: Not answering.
Mom: Did you ask?
John: Of course I asked.
Mom: That’s unbelievable.
John: Here’s the brochure. See for yourself.
Mom: Ah! Ha! Says right here that Seniors get 2 dollars off. That’s definitely a discount. I knew there had to be a discount.
John: But did you know that no Senior ever gets out alive?
John: Oh! Oh, I see!…It’s my fault, is it?…Oh, of course, there I was thinking it was your fault for winding me up, when all the time it was _my_ fault! Oh, it’s so obvious now, I’ve seen the light! Ah well, I must be punished then, mustn’t I? (slaps his bottom) You’re a naughty boy Fawlty, don’t do it again!
Shelley: BASIL FAWLTY!!!! You know what I’ll do if you’re not nice.
John: You’d have to sew ’em back on first.
Shelley and John