John: Honey, you’ve been in the tub for over an hour. Don’t you think it’s time to get out?
Shelley: No. I’m still cold.
John: I know what will warm you up. Heh! Heh! Heh!
Shelley: Nice. God, I miss being on the road, being warm, the sun,… Blahhhhhh! If you bring me a glass of wine, that might help. Check that. Bring me the bottle.
John: Shelley, you’ve got to snap out of this.
Shelley: I know, but how?
John: We’ll start volunteering again at Habitat for Humanity. We’ll buy a Comox Gym Pass to train out of the rain for our road races. We’ll join a frisbee team, so we can have more than one friend in the Valley.
Shelley: One friend… how sad is that?
John: Don’t forget we’re going to install a tile backsplash in the kitchen. You know how much you love to fix up the townhouse, my little HGTV woman, you. (Home and Garden TV)
Shelley: I guess…
John: And we’re going to do the tiling all by ourselves.
Shelley: But we’ve never installed a tile backsplash before.
John: Doesn’t matter. We’ll learn as we go.
Shelley: John, we are not going to “learn as we go” on my kitchen.
John: I’ll YouTube it.
Shelley: YouTube it all you want. We’re getting help.
John: Tell you what, I’m installing it all by myself. If you think you need help, you can get help.
Shelley: Tell you what, you install it by yourself and I’ll get help from Shenley (my brother).
John: … Fine. You win. But I’m installing the Garburator all by myself.
Shelley: Doesn’t that involve electricity?
John: Yes. So?
Shelley: Not happening.
John: Jesus Christ Shelley! What is wrong with you? You never think I can do anything.
Shelley: Of course I do… But, the last time we played electricians with the bathroom lighting, we almost burnt the house down.
John: Dear God, you Orrs (My family) love to exaggerate. It was a little zap followed by a little fire. Your mother, The Fire Starter, would have been ashamed by how small it was.
“If you put your mind to it, anything is possible.”
Shelley: Come on. Do you really believe, “If you put your mind to it,” it’s possible to install a tiled backsplash without any experience?
Shelley: And a Garburator, it’s possible to install that too?
Shelley: Just like that?
John: Just like that.
Shelley: You’re kidding?
John: Not at all.
Shelley: And this applies to everything?
Shelley: No matter what?
John: No matter what.
Shelley:… Forget the wine, pass me the phone.
Shelley: I’m calling Comox Air Base. I’ve always wanted to fly one of those Snowbirds. And maybe, just maybe, if I really “put my mind to it,” it’s possible I’ll be ready in time for their August Show.
John and Shelley