Since U Been Gone


Shelley and John: Mwahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!  So good to see you. A week apart is too long. Mwahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! 

John: Did you pick up the hard drive from your parents’ place, contact Shaw Cable to have the boxes installed, check the car’s transmission fluid, sort out the RV, vacuum the truck, spread the mulch, water the plants and transfer the accounts?

Shelley: No time. Decided to paint our bedroom hot pink. You’ll love it. So calming. I took a picture. Have a look.


 Next time you should take me with you.

John: Please tell me you’re kidding.

Shelley: Ha! Ha! I kid. About the colour. Not the painting. And as for your list, no, yes, yes, no, yes, no, no, and no. I’ve been incredibly busy.

John: You couldn’t have been that busy.

Shelley: Oh, but I was. Aside from running the 10K road race, painting our bedroom and visiting my sister, I spent two days at Habitat building walls. I’m convinced I’m part Amish.

PicMonkey Collage

Also, I would also like to point out that when I hit my thumb with the hammer,


I only yelled,


Not even a,

“Son of a B#$&H!, God D&^* iT!, or your personal favourite, “J@#$s C&^&#T!”

John: Impressive.

Shelley: Right? Then, for the first time in my life, I went to a movie all by myself. No way was I going to miss “THE GREAT GATSBY.”


Definitely an interesting experience. When I went to sit next to people, they threw their coats on the empty seats. I’m positive they mouthed the words,


Now I know how Forest Gump felt. Despite that, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. It was sooo sad knowing that Gatsby never had a chance. I started crying about half way through, which was a wee bit embarrassing, especially as I forgot my tissues. And when I asked the people sitting next to me if they had any, they completely ignored me.

John: Jerks.

Shelley: Don’t I know it? And, I went for a long, long, long run. My feet cramped around 15K. I tried to hitch hike home, but no one would pick me up. Obviously I look like a mass murderer. Let me tell you, I was a mess for the rest of the night. Barely had enough energy to pour myself a glass of wine never mind even look at your list. 

John: But…

Shelley: Finally, I spent a great deal of time trying to remember things such as:

where I left the new can of paint. (Home Depot.)

how to make the TV switch to cable. (Called Shaw)

where I put my glasses. (On my head)

where I moved the pictures from our bedroom. (Matt’s room)

turning off the car lights. (When parking)

turning on the car lights. (At night)

shutting the lid on the kettle, so it didn’t boil dry. (80% success rate)

making sure I closed the garage door when leaving the house. (90% success rate) 

putting out the garbage on Tuesday. (Just made it.)

To tell you the truth, you’re lucky I remembered to pick you up at the ferry today.

Shelley and John: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

John: I heard that if you want something done, ask a busy person.

Shelley: Obviously a lie. I’m exhausted. Can you drive home?

Shelley and John

“THE GREAT GATSBY” compliments of


14 thoughts on “Since U Been Gone

  1. Shelley, the last man I was with, we decided to coin the word “half brain” and we would go through many lists as we left each other’s house for a drive or walk. E.G. Did you remember to turn the coffee pot off? Do you have your phone? Did you need to use the restroom? Oh, I say that to my grandkids so why not an over 55 year old man? If we thought of something the other had NOT done, we would say, “Thank you, my half brain!” (No, we are no longer together, I swear it was not my fault!)


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