Mira Laurence: Hi there. It’s Mira Laurence, CTV’s Senior New’s Editor for Vancouver Island. I’d like to set up a live interview with you.
(THAT’S A LIE! SHE DID NOT CALL ME!!!! YET!!!)
Shelley: Whatever for?
Mira: Your Oak Bay Half Marathon results. Are you aware that you finished first out of thirty-six runners in your age group?
Shelley: Oh my God. I thought I took care of that. This is so embarrassing.
Mira Laurence: What do you mean?
Shelley: The first part of the race was quite enjoyable. But just after 10K, I saw a sign with 10.73K written on it, with an arrow pointing to the right. You need to understand that at my pace, there’s a crowd, so I didn’t see the entire sign. I turned right, hit a switch back and headed for home.
Mira Laurence: That sounds about the right distance to head back.
Shelley: Right? But about 5 minutes later, I ran under an arch lined on both sides with cheering people. I was confused. But I thought,
“OK, maybe that was the finish for the relay teams.”
I kept running.
Mira Laurence: I’m still not getting it.
Shelley: I’m getting there. Now, I was having a good race, but not that good. Out of nowhere, these speedy runners, I’m talking gazelles, blew past me.
Whooshhhh! Whoooshhh! Whoooshhh!! Whooshhhh! Whoooshhh! Like I was standing still.
I remember thinking, “Where the heck did these racers come from?”
Minutes later, I spotted the 15K sign. I stopped in my tracks. Finally it made sense. I shouldn’t have turned right at the 10.73 sign. I should have ran straight. I was horrified. 10.73 was the run sponsored by Kool FM 107.3.
Mira Laurence: Did you turn back?
Shelley: I couldn’t. No way could my feet take more than 21K. I decided to keep running, with the plan to turn around when there was a break in the spectators, then make up the distance.
Mira Laurence: Great plan.
Shelley: Thank you. But there were more and more people cheering. It was awful. I switched to Plan B. Zip up my jacket, so the timing chip would be blocked, cross the finish line and immediately share what happened.
Mira Laurence: Did you do that?
Shelley: Of course. But not before running past my son, Andrew, daughter-in-law, Ash, and their friend, Phillipe. You should have seen the shock on their faces seeing me so early. Now double that, when I yelled,
“I RAN THE WRONG ROUTE!”
Thinking back on it, that part was quite funny.
Actually, it was even funnier when John ran by and saw me cheering him on. He always finishes before me.
Mira and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: I told the volunteer, declined the medal, but she laughed and insisted I take it. I even went to the announcement booth and asked them to cross my name off the list. They said not to worry, as long as I didn’t win. I assured them I hadn’t. And now, you tell me that I placed first in a group of thirty-six. Jesus. I can just picture the second place finisher thinking,
“How did she get past me? I never saw her once during the race.”
What a mess.
Mia: How far did you run?
Shelley: About 17K.
Mira: I guess I could run with, “Honey Runs Her Own Race.”
Shelley: Thank you. I’d appreciate it.
Shelley and John
Update: My results were removed the next day!!!
Mira’s pic. courtesy of CTV.