I Hate my Bangs Hate Hate Hate Them


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Shelley: My bangs are too short.

John: I’ve written down a few ideas for our “Welcome to the Family” speech for Ash and Andrew’s wedding.

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Shelley: I hate short bangs.

John: I wanted to start by telling Ash and Andrew to think about how their wedding guests are so different.

Shelley: Hate. Hate. HATE them.

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John: Different back grounds, beliefs, interests.

Shelley: They’re not supposed to be this short. I even drew a picture for my hair dresser to make sure she understood what I wanted.

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John: Yet, despite their diversity, Ashly and Andrew’s wedding has drawn everyone together.

Shelley: I should have worn my contacts. I couldn’t see what she was doing until

SNIP!!!!!

By then it was too late.

John: What that means is Ashly and Andrew can be assured of their support.

Shelley: I knew she didn’t bring her best game to the chair. Too distracted about her upcoming high school reunion and how she wanted to bring her daughter with her.

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John: Through the good times and the bad times.

Shelley: You know, I wanted my hair to be perfect for Ash and Andrew’s wedding. But, oh no. Instead it looks like Edward Scissor Hands attacked me.

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John: You know, the old United Nations thing.

Shelley: Short bangs means my wrinkles will be out there for all of the wedding guests to see. Not to mention my eye brows, sun damage…

John: Before we do that part, I think I should mention that I met Ash before Andrew.

Shelley: Years down the road, people will say, “Wasn’t Ash and Andrew’s wedding beautiful? The venue? The food? The flowers? The dresses? The guests? Everything, that is, except for Shelley’s bangs. What in the world was she thinking cutting her bangs that short? Such a shame.

John: We should probably throw in how Ash and Andrew first dated in Malaysia too.

Shelley: Of course this isn’t the worst hair cut ever, by far. But it’s up there. Definitely up there.

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John: And how sad we Smiths were when, years ago, Ash boarded the plane from Comox to Detroit, because we thought we’d never see her again. I actually cried.

Shelley: There is no way in God’s creation that these bangs are going to grow out in six days.

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John: That part might be too sappy, though.

Shelley: Unless I tug on them 24/7. The down side is I’ll probably develop a massive headache, knowing my luck a migraine, but the upside is they’ll grow faster.

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Shelley and John: What do you think?

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 Shelley and John

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14 thoughts on “I Hate my Bangs Hate Hate Hate Them

  1. Classic husband and wife typical conversation! 🙂 Doesn’t John realize the importance of the hair having to be perfect for the big day! Good Luck, hope it grows quick – although I see nothing wrong with it.

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  2. Your bangs are not too short, they look great, you look fantastic. BTW you look like Joannie (Joannie and Chachi) in that one photo, so cute. I used to have big curly hair like that and my brother referred to me as his poodle sister, he is such a twerp, even to this day.
    Stop worrying about your bangs because if you worry about them then a gigantic zit is going to form on your nose or chin….now that would be bad.

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  3. John… Your half of this post is quite thoughtful and I’m sure it will be a beautiful wedding and your toast will speak wonders, highly applauded, and remembered.

    Shelly… Your half of this post is… well… nothing a pair of scissors and a little black shoe polish won’t fix. Though, you do get extra points for not 1 curse word today.

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  4. I’m sure you will look beautiful. Actually I remember a perm in Bangkok that was just gorgeous!! Give our best to Ash and Andrew.

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