Not Everyone Can Tell a Joke

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Forbidden Plateau, Comox Valley, BC, Canada

Forbidden Plateau, Comox Valley, BC, Canada

Forbidden Plateau, Comox Valley, BC, Canada

Forbidden Plateau, Comox Valley, BC, Canada

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While hiking in Strathcona Park, Vancouver Island

Brian (Brother-in-law): Hey there.

Hikers: Hello. How much further to the top?

Brian: About one kilometre. 

Hikers: That far?

Brian: Yes, but don’t worry, there’s cold beer waiting for you at the top. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! 

Hikers:… We don’t drink beer. We drink coffee.

Brian:..

Hikers:…

Brian: Have a good day.

Shelley: Hey there. How come you had to carry the heavy back pack? That’s not fair.

Biker: Don’t I know it?

Shelley: Don’t you worry, there’s cold beer waiting for you at the top. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Biker: That’s awesome. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! 

Shelley: Right? Have a good day.

While sorting out our Saratoga Speedway Tickets…

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Ticket Lady at Saratoga Speedway: Hold out your arm so I can stamp you.

Brian: Will the stamp hurt? Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! 

Ticket Lady at Saratoga Speedway: No.

Brian:…

Ticket Lady at Saratoga Speedway: …

Brian: Have a good evening.

Shelley: Brian. Brian. Brian. Let me tell you a story about a man named Bob who was sent to prison. On his first night, Bob listened to inmates shout out various numbers much to the great amusement of their fellow jailbirds. The next morning, a puzzled Bob asked inmate Joe to explain what was going on. Joe explained,

“Everyone here has read and memorized the one and only joke book in the prison.  Instead of telling the joke, they shout out the joke’s number. You can borrow the book.

That night, the inmates called out an assortment of numbers and once again everyone laughed. Bob thought he would have a go. He shouted,

“FIVE!”

No response. He tried again,

“FIVE!”

Nothing but crickets. Frustrated, he tried a number he had heard the first night,

“TEN!”

Silence. He repeated it.

“TEN!!!”

Nothing.

Another inmate cried out,

“TEN!!!”

He brought the house down.

The next morning, when Bob asked Joe why nobody laughed at his jokes, Joe replied,

Not everyone can tell a joke.”

Shelley and Brian: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

John: Shelley. Isn’t that our old tenant? You should go say, “Hello.”

Shelley: So many things to learn Brian, such as, be sure you know your audience. Maybe it might be best to watch and learn from the master. Hey there. How’re you doing?

Old Tenant: Not bad. Not bad.

Shelley: Where did you and your wife move to? Crown Isle? (Very very expensive housing area attached to a very very expensive golf course.) Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Old Tenant:… No. I live in Black Creek and she lives in Comox.

Shelley: So you’re…

Old Tenant: Divorced.

Shelley:…

Old Tenant:..

Shelley:… 

Old Tenant:…

Shelley: I’m so sorry… Have a good evening.

Shelley and John

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11 thoughts on “Not Everyone Can Tell a Joke

  1. Love this post 🙂 and you’re so right. I am on the end of not-great-at-jokes-telling part 🙂 at least not the intentional ones, I am very funny in person though.

    Usually when I am telling a joke and I feel everyones eyes on me I freak out and start listening to myself and loose control of the situation 🙂 so it won’t sound very good because I am too much aware of myself.

    Like

  2. What in the name of all that’s hairy are those blue and yellow things you are holding up to your mouths? Girls huh….

    Like

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