The List


John: Did you get the special RV toilet paper?

Shelley: Yes.

John: The Buzz Bombs?

Shelley: Yes.

John: Pink?

Shelley: Yes.

John: The replacement reel?

Shelley: Yes.

John: Milk?

Shelley: Yes.

John: Sausages?

Shelley: Yes.

John: Fruit?

Shelley: Yes. And the vegetables. We’re done. Let’s go.

John: Not yet. We still need a mirror.

Shelley: We looked here before. They don’t have the right one.

John: Fine. We need a plastic container for the wine glasses.

Shelley: I thought you said you had one in the garage.

John: So I did. So… I… did… What else is on my list? A napkin holder. Did you get a napkin holder?

Shelley: Oh my God! This is taking forever. That’s it. I’m tired of shopping. We can do this another day. We’re outta here.

John: But there’s still things on my list.

Shelley: There’s always things on your list.

John: You know I like to check things off of my list.

Shelley: I know you do. And I like to go climbing.

Comox Lake Crags

Comox Lake Crags


But if we wander around this store much longer, it’ll be too late.

John: This is why I don’t like shopping with you. We never get things done because you’re so impatient. From now on, we are not shopping together.

Shelley: You said that thirty years ago, while shopping in St. Anthony, Nf. 

John: That’s because you lost the plot.

Shelley: I lost the plot because you were crazy.

John: Me? ME? I was trying to save us money.

Shelley: By buying hundreds of cans of beans?

John: They were on sale.

Shelley: I hated baked beans then and I hate bake beans now.

John: For the record, I was trying to pay off your University loans.

Shelley: I wouldn’t have had any loans if you didn’t keep calling me collect from England.

John: From a freezing phone booth, in the middle of the night. There’s the thanks I get.

Shelley: I’ll thank you if you agree to leave this store right now.

John: I leave my family behind, arrive on the northern shores of Newfoundland with my blue trunk storing all my worldly possessions and 5 thousand dollars of life savings

Shelley: I promise to never go shopping with you again.

John: Which went directly against your University debt. Yours not mine. Because I did not have debt. Because I not only taught during the day, I taught at night and worked in a pub. 

Shelley: I’ll let you check me off your list.

John: The napkin holder can wait.


Shelley and John

14 thoughts on “The List

  1. I am a big lister of things! Glad to see this list and laughed too. I think it is cool how 2 people can still not have a whole brain but at least you remind each other…


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