Oh S%$T!

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Shelley: Oh S%$T! It’s not working! It’s backing up. It’s almost to the top of the toilet bowl! S%$T’s going to run all over the floor! Stop. STOP!!!  Come here! QUICK! Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

John: Let me see. Oh S%$T! Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

Shelley: Exactly. Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

John: QUICK!! Pass me a garbage bag. I’ll wrap it around the bowl, so nothing spills over. Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

Shelley: Here! Gak. Gak. Blechhhh. Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

(CLICK)

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John: Jesus Christ Shelley! This is not the time to take a picture. I could be dying from the fumes and you take a picture. Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

Shelley: Oh my God! You are not dying. I think we need to have a sense of humour about this. This is funny. Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

John: This is not funny. Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

Shelley: Think about it. A backed up sewage in our new RVis so awful, it is funny. Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

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John: Oh my God!! It doesn’t matter if it’s funny or not. What does matter is that we go outside and breathe fresh air while we wait for the sewer guy… Hmmmm…. while we wait, hold this hose tightly to the black water flush system. (Black water means POOP! Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!) With any luck, it will move the blockage… Ready?

Shelley: I think so.

John: Whatever you do, do not let go of the hose.

Shelley: Aiiieeeeeeee!!!!! Black water splurted all over me! S%$T! spurted all over me! I’m covered in S%$T! Get if off me! GET IT OFF MEEEE!!!!!!  Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

John: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shelley: Stop laughing! Get it off me!!

John: It’s water not sewage. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shelley: It’s not funny.

John: Trust me it’s funny.

Shelley: It is so not funny.

John: It is definitely funny.

Shelley: I say not.

John: And I say…

Sewer guy: Hi. I’m here to suck out your sewage.

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Shelley and John: (Thinking, Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!! but saying,)

Hi.

Sewer Guy: Let’s see now. I need to bring this here hose… which works like a vacuum, up through your laundry chute… into your RV and stick it down your toilet... like so… turn on the pump and ride it like a cowboy… and…

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(Whhooommmppphhh!!!!) Yep. There it is. That felt like one Hell of a ball of toilet tissue. Gotta be careful about your toilet paper. If you use too much or if you use the wrong kind, you’re going to get a nasty ball of toilet tissue, which means blockage. Which means sewer backing up.

Shelley: But we only buy RV tissue.

Sewer Guy: That may be. Just be careful you don’t suffer from the fear of the One Ply Dirty Finger. Heh! Heh! Heh!

John: The what?

Sewer Guy: The fear of the One Ply Dirty Finger. You know, when you’re afraid that the one ply might rip and get poop on your finger, so you use more than necessary and next thing you know it balls up. Heh! Heh! Heh!

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All done here. That’ll be twenty bucks.

Shelley and John: Thanks.

Sewer Guy: Oh! One more thing. You might want to think about throwing the tissue you use for pee into the garbage. You can always burn that in your camp fire. Probably wouldn’t want to do the same with the tissue you use for poop, though. 

Shelley and John: Gak. Gak. Blechhhh! Huhhngggghhh! HUHHNGGGHHH!!!!

Sewer Guy: Yes sireee, that would be real messy. Gross actually. Best to flush the poopy paper down. Then go for a ride. Swirl that stuff around before you dump. It’ll knock everything off the walls of the sewer tank. Enjoy the rest of your trip. Take care. Bye. Vroommmm!

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Shelley and John:…  Oh S%$T! Now that’s funny.

Shelley and John

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21 thoughts on “Oh S%$T!

  1. Oh.my.god. I assume you are returning the RV to the dealer and staying in hotels from now on where you can wipe your bums with whole rolls of toilet paper. Your sewer guy was something else! 🙂

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  2. That was the worst part of trailer camping when I was growing up. The dumping of sewer. I know that we had to buy special paper. That was a shitty situation you went through. 😉

    Like

  3. Whilst “We” – still FRed.i.Am and I – have total sympathy for you both with your ‘evacuation’ problems please spare a thought for Moi who had to man (so to speak) the Royal Cervix Cam
    right up to the final PUSH. Battery failure (made in China) caused maHem but ‘We’ survived the ordeal.

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  4. Oh yes, did I previously mention “Colonic Irrigation” for caravan owners?
    Best let John try it first ?????

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    • Will pass this on to John. Ever since our ordeal he has been on a cleaning frenzy. I believe I just saw my climbing rope go into a large container. If I stay out of the way, maybe he’ll start breakfast.

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    • Hotels? That is a five letter swear word. The system is clear for the last two weeks. But, honestly every time one goes, one hesitantly peeps in to make sure everything goes. You live in fear! Thank you for dropping by and having a laugh.

      Like

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