And the Moral of the Story is, “Always Listen to your Mother, or Else”

map banffDay 8-9, September 6th – 7th2013-09-06 11.54.34

On the way to the Hoodoos. Yoho National Park, BC, Canada
2013-09-06 12.14.54Hoodoos, Yoho National Park, BC, Canada2013-09-06 14.10.36 Emerald Lake, Yoho National Park, BC, Canada2013-09-06 14.18.32

Emerald Lake, Yoho National Park, BC, Canada

Shelley: It’s too bad that we weren’t able to meet Wade, my Grade 5 boyfriend, when we were in Revelstoke. What were the odds he had retired 5 years ago? Oh well. On on to Yoho National Park and then Banff. Since we have an hour to kill, I’ll tell you a little story based on when I lived in Field.

John: Go for it.

Once upon a time, there was a young good looking family of six that lived in Field, BC, Canada. Except for elk, the occasional deer, the odd moose and lots of black bears, there wasn’t a lot of excitement in the sleepy village located in Yoho National Park. That is, until the grizzlies came to town.

gr1

Now you never ever wanted to come across a grizzly. They’re bigger, stronger and meaner than black bears. Think,

“The Meanest Sons of Bitch’s in the Valley”

One summer evening, mother and father Orr decided head into the village to play cards. Before they left, they issued the following instructions,

Shannon (13), Shelley (12), make sure no harm comes to your little brothers, Stephen (9) and Shenley (7). 

Not long after their parents left, a baby grizzly bear wiggled under the Orr’s backyard chain link fence, ambled over to their dining room window, popped up on his hind legs, pressed his snout against the window and liked what he saw.

“I will join the Orr children and possibly eat them.” cried baby grizzly bear.

“Oh no you won’t!” cried the Orr children.

“Oh no you won’t!” cried the mother grizzly bear.

“Oh yes I will!” retorted baby grizzly bear. And in the blink of an eye, baby grizzly bear hooked his 1 inch plus claws

claw

                                    Something like these claws.

under the window frame and pulled.

The Orr children, led by Shannon, grabbed the window’s lever and pulled back.

“Arrrrrrrghhhhhhh!!!!” roared the Orr children.

“Arrrrrrghhhhhhhh!!!!” roared baby grizzly bear. 

“Arrrrrrghhhhhhhh!!!!” roared mother grizzly bear. “You get out of the Orr family’s backyard and return to the forest this very instant.”

But baby grizzly bear couldn’t stop. He was curious. And hungry. Not to mention, the window was almost completely open.

awning-windows

   Exactly like this.

 

“He can almost fit in!” exclaimed Shelley.

“What are we to do?” wailed Stephen and Shenley.

Boys! Get the broom! We’ll use it to pry his claws off the frame. Hurry!!” ordered Shannon.

Stephen and Shenley rushed to do her bidding. The Orr children, led by Shannon, pried baby grizzly bear’s one inch plus claws off the window frame as fast as they could. But they weren’t fast enough.

“I’m almost inside!” growled baby grizzly bear.

Baby grizzly bear! Come away now! If you stay any longer, the Warden will shoot you with a tranquilizer dart, release you high into the alpine meadows far far away from here. We’ll never see each other again. Is that what you want?” demanded the mother grizzly bear.

“He’s going to eat us!” exclaimed Shelley.

Stephen! Shenley! Hide under our parents’ bed!” yelled Shannon.

“I’ll go with them.” Shelley volunteered. “ Make sure they’re safe.” And she did.

Shelley! You get back here! You pull back on the lever! I’ll pry off his claws!” ordered Shannon. And they did. At first nothing changed. Baby grizzly bear continued to open the window. But then, slowly, but surely, Shannon and Shelley managed to not only stop baby grizzly bear’s progress, but to actually close the window.

“Yayyyyy!!!!” Cheered the girls.

“Yayyyyy!!!!” Cheered the boys.

“Yayyyyy!!!!” Cheered mother grizzly bear.

“Pooooo!!!!” Sulked baby grizzly bear as he slowly turned and returned to his madder than Hell mother. 

The end.

John: You forgot to say,

“And they all lived happily after.”

Shelley: Well I would have, except a few days later, we found what was believed to be a baby grizzly bear’s carcass in the woods. The Park Warden said the mother killed her baby.

John: Holy Shit! Is that true?

Shelley: Sure is. Guess the moral of the story is,

Listen to your mother or else.”

Ready to go hiking?

IMG2339 Lake Louise, Banff National Park, Alberta, CanadaIMG2341

Whoops. Wrong turn in the town of Banff, Alberta.IMG2342

Banff Hot Springs. I really really miss Japanese Onsens.

Shelley and John

Grizzly Bear- pocketrangerblog.com
Grizzly Bear Claw – userwww.sfsu.edu
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16 thoughts on “And the Moral of the Story is, “Always Listen to your Mother, or Else”

  1. My buddies and I used to do this when we were in college. Except our mothers weren’t around to admonish us. Well, they were in spirit. Fortunately, we were neither caught nor tranquilized though if Cindy’s father caught up with us…

    Fun read. I feel badly for the cub. Nasty mother.

    I hear you on the onsens. Miss much about Nippon.

    Like

  2. You are in one of the loveliest parts of the world that we have also visited. Lucky you! Not sure about the bear story though, well done to you girls for beating the little fella!! You know you should ALWAYS listen to your Mother…………..or at least let her think you do? Travel safe xx

    Like

  3. Hey Shelley! Looks like you guys are having a great adventure—good on you! So glad I found a link to your blog on fb. You are freakin hilarious! So much voice in your writing–you definitely convey your personality. Good luck with the rest of your travels! Hi to John!

    Like

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