What’s Wrong With you?

UntitledDay 29IMG_0332Lake Simcoe, Ontario, Canada
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Lake Simcoe, Ontario
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IMG_0329Lake Simcoe, Ontario

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IMG2430IMG_0348Barrie, Ontario

John: (Jiggle. Jiggle. Jiggle. Massage. Massage. Massage. Wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggle) Sigh. 

Shelley: You’re kidding. You can’t have the funnies in your legs already.

John: I don’t have the funnies.

Shelley: Then stop jiggling and wiggling. You’re making me nervous.

John: What about this? Is this OK with you?

Shelley: Jesus Christ! You’re driving with your chin? While pulling a 28.5 foot 5th wheel, on a 3 lane highway? Are you crazy?

John: What about this? Look Shelley. No hands.

Shelley: JOHN!!!! Put your hands back on the wheel! What’s wrong with you?

John: I’m tired. I didn’t sleep last night.

Shelley: Then pull over and let me drive to Toronto.

John: It’s only 10km until we’re back to Spencer and Jenny’s. (My brother and sister-in-law) I can do this. Smiths don’t quit.

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Shelley: Please pull over. You’re falling asleep at the wheel.

John: Like this? (Lets his chin bang about on his chest.)

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Shelley: Holy Shit! Stop it! Here. Here. Listen to the radio. That’ll keep you awake.

Radio Announcer: … well known for his “Spoofability”

John: Spoofability? Spoofability? What kind of word is spoofability? Spoofability is not a word. This is supposed to be CBC. CBC does not say spoofability. CBC says words like “ingenious” or “comedic timing” not spoofability.

Radio Announcer: … was a dodgy kind of character….

John: Dodgy? I’ll tell you what’s dodgy. That woman driver is dodgy. How about that trucker? I know he’s…

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Shelley: What do you want? Do you want me to drive?

John: I waaaaant what that truck driver gets. Know what I mean? Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge.

Shelley: Trust me. That’s not going to happen. That’s stupid!

John: Ah! Ha! You said, “stupid.” When we get back, you have to go and sit in the “time out” corner like the Taylor and Mia do. (Our nieces)

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Shelley: Why’s stupid a bad word?

John: I have no idea. But I’ll make you a deal. If you say, “Sorry” for saying stupid, I’ll let you go to your bedroom instead of the time out corner. Better yet, if you promise never to say “stupid” again, I’ll join you. Deal?


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Shelley and John

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18 thoughts on “What’s Wrong With you?

  1. I liked gazing at the serene scenery and picturing your peaceful moments. I also like the human side of road trips, we all get cranky and I am particularly mouthy at times! (You are fun to read!!)

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