Guests, Like Fish, Begin to Smell After Three Days

Day 40

Day 40

Because of the National Government Shut Down, This National Park (Appalachian Trail) is closed.

Because of the National Government Shut Down, This National Park (Appalachian Trail) is closed.

Appalachian Trails

Appalachian Trail

Appalachian Trail

Appalachian Trail

Shelley: Robbie, time for you to go to bed. You’ve got the lizardy eyes thing going.

John: Yeah, Robbie, it’s 9:30, way past your bedtime.

Robbie: I wouldn’t be so exhausted if I hadn’t spent the last three days looking after you two. Three activities a day,Toni. Three activities a day while you were off visiting friends and family. They almost killed Sona by making him walk the Appalachian Trail.


John: No Toni, Robbie almost killed me. Did you know that trail is full of ticks? Right now I could be dying of lyme disease. Know what else, Toni? He said that they could attach themselves to my “you know whats.”


Robbie: Ahhhhh Johnny, you know that is such Bull S#$T!

Shelley: But it’s not Bull S#$T that you almost let me die on Malaysia Week. (An outdoor trip we chaperoned, while teaching in Malaysia, at least 15 years ago) There I was, pinned under my kayak, against a rock, bubbles leaking out of my nose, looking up at you, my life slowly but surely ending as I mouthed the words, “Raaaaaahhhhhbbbbbeeeee!!!! Raaaaaahhhhhbbbbbeeeeee!!!!” And you sat in your kayak looking at me. Doing nothing.

Robbie: I was waiting for the right time.

John: Time? Is that like how you were waiting for the right time to feed us supper? Jesus, I’ve never eaten so late in my life. Toni, thank God you cooked supper tonight. Last night I didn’t get fed until after 9:00. I gnawed the skin off my knuckles. Look.


Robbie: Toni, the Sox were on. I put out cheese and crackers. Ungrateful Bastards.

John: But not like Toni does. Toni’s cheese plates always have grapes. Shelley, did you bring the toaster in from the fifth wheel? I’d like toast before we head to New York. You know Robbie won’t be feeding us our breakfast.

Robbie: That’s because I’ll be in the Chapel by 8:00.

Shelley and John: Burning. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Robbie: Why are you two laughing? I’ve been to church these last few weeks more than you heathens have ever been.

Shelley: While you’re in church, I’ll be on my way to New York. Here’s a list of things I want to see: Central Park, The Empire State, Jay Z, Beyonce, Michael J. Fox, the Statue of Liberty…

Robbie: Don’t bother getting off the boat to see the Statue of Liberty. It’s closed. Besides, this is all you would see anyway.


Shelley: Awwww Robbie, you just burst my bubble.

John: That’s what he does Toni. Bursts our bubbles.

Robbie: Oh my God! I’m going to bed. Good night. Remember Smiths what Mark Twain said, “After three days fish and company start to smell.”

Shelley and John: That was Benjamin Franklin. And what he actually said was,

“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”

Shelley, John and Robbie: TONI!!!!

Shelley and John

17 thoughts on “Guests, Like Fish, Begin to Smell After Three Days

  1. Sounds like a fun visit. Glad you opted for a bit of the AT, my old stomping grounds. As if the Feds were going to see or find you on the Trail… My siblings caution about the “72 hour rule” whenever Eric and Mom get together. Franklin spoke some truths!


    • The tiny bit we did see was beautiful. Our friend was a little outraged at the closing as it is maintained by volunteers in this area. We tried to leave today, but Toni insisted that the fish rule began on Monday. I think we are starting to smell. 🙂


  2. Ha,ha!!! Too funny! Good for you for not following the federal rules while at the Appalachian Trail! Come to my place, I have many trails to hike, food to eat and a toaster! We do have those damn ticks, though. Definitely check each other like good little chimps and wear long white socks and or pants tucked in to your socks to avoid those suckers getting on you. And yes, my x x x boyfriend found one in his….parts.


    • You’re kidding??? Will never share this with John. Robbie pulled ticks of the dogs today. 3 days on. Ak. Thanks for the invite, but we will have to come your way next time. We begin to head south on Thursday. Winter is coming. 😦


  3. Ewwwww ticks! It will be more fun in a week when you find them swelled up like zombie white balloons, bulging off your poor dog…Maybe send it to the Smiths as a reminder of your wrath if they don’t entertain you to the fullest next time.


  4. Nice to see you all together. Somethings never change though. You are all wack! Rob and Toni now you live right next to my brother we have to get together. Cheers! But, seriously don’t give the Smiths your address in Texas.


  5. How much red had Robbie consumed before the Statue of Liberty shot? Did Sona try to hump anyone’s leg? Who has more grey, Robbie or Shelly (Sona?); Toni is not in this competition and John has no hair. John should be fined for not staying up and watching the Sox game with Robbie. Some fish goes bad sooner than three days, but some, dried for instance, can visit for weeks without much of a stench.


    • Hey Grant:
      1) Red Wine – Enough to pose for the shot.
      2) Sona – continues to hump anyone’s leg.
      3) Shelley – Even with cheating.
      4) John is a wimp.
      5) Fish – tried to leave, but Toni insisted we restart the count once she came home.

      Ha! Ha! a great visit.


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