Shelley and John: Friends, family, sick people, babies, travellers, Ahhhhmen! Happy Thanks Giving. Mwahhhhhhh!!
Shelley: What are you thankful for?
Shelley: Awwww. That’s sweet. But really.
John: I’m serious. I’m thankful for you and by saying, “You” I mean family.
Shelley and John: Cheers.
John: What about you?
Shelley: You and family of course.
Shelley: Wait. I’m not finished. I’ve got a list. I’m thankful
#1 that whoever stole your bicycle seat, he didn’t steal mine. Ha! Ha! I kid. I’m thankful that both bikes weren’t taken.
#2 that only one stabilizer foot fell off.
#3 that when I accidentally parked the fifth wheel under the tree, there wasn’t any damage.
Shelley: OK. OK. Hardly any.
#4 that only a few dishes were smashed to smithereens when we hit those big bumps.
#5 that those same bumps caused the chair to flip over towards the sink instead of through the rear window.
#6 that when that scary ass street guy in Atlantic City cursed me with,
“May your gambling success match your generosity,”
I only lost a few dollars.
#7 that when I had a massage and couldn’t figure out how to get my top on because the room was too dark, so I just said, “To Hell with it,” and drove home with the arms looped around my neck, I wasn’t picked up by the police.
#8 that despite being sorely tempted, I didn’t lose it with the Highway Toll Booth Operators, even though they were over charging me.
John: I too am very thankful that you didn’t lose it with those Operators. They were close to calling the cops because you argued with them. Is that what you wanted?
Shelley: Of course not. But I still don’t understand why I had to pay for four axles in New Jersey and Virginia when I only had to pay for three axles in New York. Even the last Operator agreed with me. She said, “I thought I was OK in math because I count three axles too.”
John: That’s because you badgered her until she broke down.
Shelley: That’s not true.
John: Admit it. You were being cranky because there were so many toll booths you thought you were bleeding money.
Shelley: I swear money wasn’t the issue. It’s the principle of the thing. Why should I pay for four axles when I have three?
John: Shelley, I hate to break it to you, but we have four axles.
Shelley: We have three.
John: Trust me. We have four.
Shelley: If we had four, we wouldn’t be able to balance it. We have three.
John: That makes no sense.
Shelley: Makes sense to me.
John: Why can’t you ever admit when you’re wrong?
Shelley: But I’m not wrong.
John: That’s it. We’re going outside. I’ll show you we have four.
Shelley: And I’ll show you we have three.
Shelley and John: Trust me. You’ll be eating your words.
Shelley: Gobble. Gobble.
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving everyone.
And in case you would like to learn the history of Canadian Thanksgiving, check out my son, Matt’s, Video “The Story of Canadian Thanksgiving” on YouTube.
Shelley and John