I Think I Have Acid Reflux, Appendicitis, Heart Arythmia…

Day 64, November 1st.

Day 64, November 1st.

Jekyll Island, Georgia

Jekyll Island, Georgia

IMG_1175

Jekyll Island, Georgia

Jekyll Island, Georgia

John:  I have something I want to share with you. Something very serious. Something that you might want to prepare for.

Shelley: Oh my God. What?

John: I have Acid Reflux.

Shelley: You have what?

John: Acid Reflux.

Shelley: Oh Jesus.

John: I googled my symptoms. I’ll have to undergo a dangerous life threatening operation.

Shelley: A dangerous life threatening operation?

John: Yes. It’s called a fundoplication. It involves cutting into my abdomen and wrapping  the top of  my stomach around my lower espophagus. You don’t even want to think about the worst case scenario.

Shelley: You’ve got to be kidding me.

John: I’m not kidding.

Shelley: You do not have Acid Reflux.

John: Oh really Doctor. What do I have?

Shelley: You have a bad case of eating too fast, which causes gas, which prevents you from sleeping.

John: I knew you would find a way to criticize how I eat.

Shelley: If you slowed down, you wouldn’t get gas. Problem solved. That will be 5 cents. Next patient, please.

John: Thanks  Lucy. Why do you always make fun of me whenever I tell you that something is wrong with me?

Shelley: Because you always convince yourself that you’re on death’s door.

John: That’s not true.

Shelley: That is soooo true.  Earlier tonight you announced that you had appendicitis.

John: I thought for sure I did.

Shelley: And what about the time you insisted on more heart tests?

John: I slept better having the highest qualified Heart Doctors in Japan confirm that I had an extra heartbeat, didn’t you?

Shelley: Paying seven hundred and fifty dollars for something I already knew you had for fifty-six years did not make me sleep better.  In fact it gave me Acid Reflux. I still have the receipt. Makes me crazy every time I look at it.

John: You value money more than my health.

Shelley: Not true. However, speaking of money,  are you certain that you have Acid Reflux?

John: Yes.

Shelley: And there’s no other way to sort out your Acid Reflux except to undergo life threatening surgery?

John: Yes.

Shelley: You’re absolutely, positively 100% sure?

John: Yes.

Shelley:  And you shared this with me because you wanted me to prepare for the worst case scenario?

John: Yes. Hey! What are you doing? Is that my Life Insurance form? It is. You are heartless. Cold.

Shelley: No John,  I’m preparing for the worst case scenario, just like you told me to do.

St. Augustine, Georgia

St. Augustine, Florida

Historical St. Augustine, Florida

Historical St. Augustine, Florida

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Lighthouse in St. Augustine, Florida

Lighthouse in St. Augustine, Florida

Shelley and John

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16 thoughts on “I Think I Have Acid Reflux, Appendicitis, Heart Arythmia…

  1. I feel like John! I too have Acid Reflux or Appendicitis (one of the two or both). When I lie down it’s really bad and stuff comes back up (sorry). Or, it could be all the Halloween candy I took from my niece yesterday when she wasn’t looking. I did eat it very fast so she wouldn’t notice…hmmmm.

    Lovely pictures! 🙂

    Like

    • I passed on your comment to John. His reply, “See. Other people suffer from it too and you don’t make fun of them!” As for Halloween candy, just the chocolate wouldn’t be safe. We are trying to figure out our sort of new camera, so thanks.

      Like

  2. Trapped wind can be very painful and you’ve always eaten too fast. Try some Bisodol or Basconpan or some trapped wind medication? Don’t know if you can get Deflatine but that works for me. It’s a Rennies preparation I think? Take care, love and hugs xxx

    Like

  3. I found this story hilarious. The ending was absolutely perfect. I have to say, I know of a few people who self-diagnose based on the latest fad in medical science. Like, I knew of a guy who thought he had the Ebola Virus. I said to him, “If you had the Ebola Virus, your insides would be nothing more than a bag of mush. You do not have the Ebola Virus.” Fun stuff!

    Like

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