I’m as Tired as a One Legged Man in a Butt- Kickin’ Contest

Day 74, November 11th

Day 74, November 11th
Keaton Beach, Florida

Keaton Beach, Florida

Store Clerk: Two Florida Fishing Licences coming right up, but first I’ll need your Social Security Numbers.

John: I don’t think our Canadian ones will work. What about Drivers’ Licences?

Store Clerk: Let’s see…  Not working. Hmmm… Wonder what will work? While I think about that, I’m going to check in on this customer. Does one of those rooms work for you?

Potential Guest: Room #10 had smokers in it.

Store Clerk: Dang it. Some people think the rules are for everyone else but them. I’d like to jerk a knot in their tails. What’d you think of #9?

Potential Guest: Sigh. I’ll take it.


Store Clerk: All righty then. That’ll be $69. Now you need to know that one air con is really loud. Like a jet engine. And the second one won’t start right away. But when it does, the jet engine’ll calm right down and before you know it, you’ll be nice and cool. Let me check you in… in… just… one…  Ah! Ha! Passports. I knew it would eventually come to me. Do you have your passports, because they’ll work, sure as shootin’.

Shelley: Yes, we do.

Store Clerk: Good. Good. I’ll take care of you in two shakes of a stick. But first let me see what this young lady wants. What can I do for you?

Young Lady: I heard the new owner’s looking for workers.

Store Clerk: You heard right. Seeings as I don’t have an application form, why don ‘t you write down your information on this scrap of paper. Here you go.

Male Guest: Excuse me. My remote’s not working.

Store Clerk: It needs Triple A’s, right?

Male Guest: I don’t rightly know.

Store Clerk: Pretty sure that’s what it needs. Where are they? I saw them some where. Last time I checked, they were right here. Sometimes I get so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt. Yes! There they are. If it still doesn’t work, exchange it with the one in the laundry room. the The cleaning lady switched them. God knows why. Now the old cleaning lady, she’d be hollerin’ like a stuck pig if she…

Elderly Female Guest: My towel rack fell on the floor. I wanted you to know so you didn’t charge me.

Store Clerk:  I’ll call maintenance. Jim. Shirley here. Lady says her towel rack fell on the floor. Hang on. What room are you in, ma’am?

Elderly Female Guest: Room #4.

Store Clerk: Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh Huh. Thanks. Bye. Jim’ll be right over, soon as he finishes his break, that is.

Elderly Female Guest: Hummphh.

Store Clerk: No need to get your panties in a twist ’cause I agree with you. That man’s as useless as tits on a daddy turtle. Now me, last time I had a break was 9:00 this morning and that’s when I opened these here doors. Whooo Wheeee! I’m as tired as a one- legged man in an Butt-kickin’ contest. Who’s next?

Shelley, John, Potential Guest, Young Lady, Male Guest, Elderly Female Guest:




Shelley and John

32 thoughts on “I’m as Tired as a One Legged Man in a Butt- Kickin’ Contest

  1. you must be really relaxed if you didn’t react to this guy!!! I really love these photo’s, they’d make superb wall pics. Keep having fun xxx


  2. Pingback: I’m as Tired as a One Legged Man in a Butt- Kickin’ Contest | jwd56smith

    • Well, funny you should ask that because our room in our RV is awesome. Not too sure about the Hotel rooms. The whole place was changing ownership and it was looking really run down. I personally would not have stayed there. If I did, it would have been fully clothed, with a hat, and the gross bed spread kicked to the floor. But next post is about our neighbours… 🙂


  3. I like the way you always find the humor in some rather frustrating situations! The “quaint” language of the hotel/motel clerk was very aptly expressed by you (without a tape recorder, too!) Fun post! Wish I were there! Beautiful sunset or sunrise! You are a great photographer!


    • Why thank you. I might have added a few. 🙂 The sunsets were amazing. Sunrises were pink, but I was too lazy to get up. I can’t take credit for the kayaking one. A fellow camper did and shared. No fish though. 😦


  4. Did you try the ‘roaches’? I am told on good authority that they are charged as an extra in them there parts.
    Anyway, as y’all towing a thing the size of Belgium behind you why stay in a delapidated(sp?) shack with the locals? I blame you’re companion. If he’d been eaten by one of them there Gators on a previous post the Life Assurance would have paid for a better abode with a proper towel rail.


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