I’m as Tired as a One Legged Man in a Butt- Kickin’ Contest

Day 74, November 11th

Keaton Beach, Florida

Store Clerk: Two Florida Fishing Licences coming right up, but first I’ll need your Social Security Numbers.

John: I don’t think our Canadian ones will work. What about Drivers’ Licences?

Store Clerk: Let’s see…  Not working. Hmmm… Wonder what will work? While I think about that, I’m going to check in on this customer. Does one of those rooms work for you?

Potential Guest: Room #10 had smokers in it.

Store Clerk: Dang it. Some people think the rules are for everyone else but them. I’d like to jerk a knot in their tails. What’d you think of #9?

Potential Guest: Sigh. I’ll take it.

Store Clerk: All righty then. That’ll be $69. Now you need to know that one air con is really loud. Like a jet engine. And the second one won’t start right away. But when it does, the jet engine’ll calm right down and before you know it, you’ll be nice and cool. Let me check you in… in… just… one…  Ah! Ha! Passports. I knew it would eventually come to me. Do you have your passports, because they’ll work, sure as shootin’.

Shelley: Yes, we do.

Store Clerk: Good. Good. I’ll take care of you in two shakes of a stick. But first let me see what this young lady wants. What can I do for you?

Young Lady: I heard the new owner’s looking for workers.

Store Clerk: You heard right. Seeings as I don’t have an application form, why don ‘t you write down your information on this scrap of paper. Here you go.

Male Guest: Excuse me. My remote’s not working.

Store Clerk: It needs Triple A’s, right?

Male Guest: I don’t rightly know.

Store Clerk: Pretty sure that’s what it needs. Where are they? I saw them some where. Last time I checked, they were right here. Sometimes I get so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt. Yes! There they are. If it still doesn’t work, exchange it with the one in the laundry room. the The cleaning lady switched them. God knows why. Now the old cleaning lady, she’d be hollerin’ like a stuck pig if she…

Elderly Female Guest: My towel rack fell on the floor. I wanted you to know so you didn’t charge me.

Store Clerk:  I’ll call maintenance. Jim. Shirley here. Lady says her towel rack fell on the floor. Hang on. What room are you in, ma’am?

Elderly Female Guest: Room #4.

Store Clerk: Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh Huh. Thanks. Bye. Jim’ll be right over, soon as he finishes his break, that is.

Elderly Female Guest: Hummphh.

Store Clerk: No need to get your panties in a twist ’cause I agree with you. That man’s as useless as tits on a daddy turtle. Now me, last time I had a break was 9:00 this morning and that’s when I opened these here doors. Whooo Wheeee! I’m as tired as a one- legged man in an Butt-kickin’ contest. Who’s next?

Shelley, John, Potential Guest, Young Lady, Male Guest, Elderly Female Guest:

Shelley and John