John: (Singing) Sweet hooome Alabama. I be coming home to you.
Shelley: Oh my God. Stop.
Shelley: You’ve tried to sing that song ever since we arrived in Alabama.
John: Alabama? (Singing) Sweet hooome Alabama. I be coming home to you.
Shelley: Please stop. You’re ruining it. Those aren’t the right words. And even if they were, you need to sing more than the first two lines.
John: FIne. When we get back to the campsite, I’ll download the words and learn them. But first, I need to buy an University of Alabama T-shirt. Let’s see… No. No. Annnnd no. Maybe this one. No. This one looks like it just might work…. Ummmm no. This is getting frustrating. I can’t find one I like.
Shelley: What about this one?
John: Shelley. I am not a kid. I can’t wear a shirt that looks like a football jersey.
Shelley: Of course you can’t. What was I thinking?
John: Hmmm… This one says, “I’m an Alabama Fan.” But technically I’m not an Alabama fan.
Shelley: Then why are you buying a t-shirt if you don’t support them?
John: Because we’re in Alabama. Ah! Ha! This one’s perfect.
John: Except it has long sleeves. Long sleeves will be too hot. Just my luck, there aren’t any like it with short sleeves.
Shelley: This grey one has short sleeves.
John: Shelley, you don’t like me in grey.
Shelley: I do now.
John: Don’t be silly.
Shelley: OK… Ohhh Kayyyyy. This one?
John: The sticker’s too big. It’ll make me sweat.
Shelley: And we sure don’t want that to happen. Here we go. Everything you wanted. Short sleeved. No big logo.
John: Won’t work. It’s not red. The Crimson Tide’s colours are red.
Shelley: Red it is. This one’s red. Old school. Very trendy. What do you say?
Shelley: Why not?
John: I don’t like it. That’s why.
Shelley: That’s not a reason. Give me one good reason.
John: Because it looks like it’s been worn a thousand times.
Shelley: But that’s the style. You know what? Never mind. Andrew (Our youngest son) will love it for Christmas.
John: Sigh. There’s nothing here. Let’s go. You’re getting restless. It’s too bad. I really really wanted one. But know this, once we leave Alabama, I’ll never ever get the chance to buy an Alabama T-shirt again. Just think, I didn’t buy a Crimson Tide T-shirt, the 2011 and 2012 USA National Football Champions. From Alabama.
Shelley: Holy S@#T!!!! Enough. Buy the long sleeved one. It’s perfect for the freezing California nights. Here’s a medium.
John: I should probably try it on. Just in case.
Sweet Hooome Alabama. I be coming back to youuuuu! Whhhhhoooo. Hooo. Hoo.
Shelley: And he’s off.
Shelley and John
PS: John and I constantly listen to podcasts. I’ve decided to share our favourite ones, one post at a time. If you have ones you recommend, please share.
“This is That” hosted by zany commedians, Pat Kelly and Peter Oldring from CBC Radio. Click here for their site.