I’m not Mad, I’m Scared

Day 99, December 5th

Day 99, December 5th, 2013

Casa Grande Mountain, Arizona

The beginning of our hike on Casa Grande Mountain, Arizona

Saguaro Cactus, Casa Grande Mountain, Arizona

Saguaro Cactus, Casa Grande Mountain, Arizona

Summit, Casa Grande Mountain, Arizona

The top of Casa Grande Mountain, Arizona

Shelley and John, Comox Valley, Vancouver Island, BC

“Shelley and John, Comox Valley, Vancouver Island, BC, Canada”


Ha! Ha! Who'd be that silly????

Ha! Ha! Who’d be that silly to get so close to the Cholla Jumping Cactus????

John: OK, we’re 35 minutes in. Should we turn around?

Shelley: No. It won’t be any fun back tracking on the same route. Let’s  hike down that gully, then cut back to the truck.

John: I don’t see a trail.

Shelley: We don’t need a trail. Come on. It’ll be an adventure.

John: (Mumbling, but starting down the slope) Why can’t staying on the trail be enough of an adventure?

Shelley: Whoo! Heee! It’s a bit slippery. Mind your step. Look at us. We’re going where man has never gone before. Do you hear that? That’s a firing range. Good thing I have this bright top on. Don’t want to get shot. Right? Do you see those 3 vultures? Keep flying.  No food here. Careful! Loose rocks. I wonder if we’ll finally get to see a snake. I have my orange peels. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it? ( In an attempt to get the perfect picture of a snake, my mother has thrown orange peels at one so it would coil. Read here. ) Look at that dead cactus. Kind of creepy don’t you think?

The  innards of a Jumping Cholla Cactus

The innards of a Jumping Cholla Cactus

There’s a perfect saguaro cactus. Take my picture. Take my picture.

Saguaro Cactus, Casa Grande Mountain, Arizona

Saguaro Cactus, Casa Grande Mountain, Arizona

John: Got it. Owwww! A cactus is stuck into my ankle. @#$%!! I can’t get it off. @#$%! It rolled over. It dug in further. Owwww!! Are you @#$%ING kidding me? There’s three on my elbow. @#$%!  @#$%! @#$%!

Shelley: Hold still. I’ve got my knife. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. They’re off. All good?

What it looks like after you pull the Cholla Juming Cactus out of your arm.

What it looks like after you pull the Cholla Juming Cactus out of your arm.

John: Yes.

Shelley: You’re sure?

John: I’m fine.

Shelley: I bet we’ll laugh at this tomorrow. If we take our time and keep an eye out for those suckers, everything should be… YEEEEOUCCCCHHHHH!!!! Mother @#$%ER!!! The top of that cactus  jumped onto my finger. I hardly touched it. YEEEOOOOWWWW!! Get off me, you little son of a @#$%^!!!

The little F@#$ER!!!!!!

The little son of a @#$%^!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Shelley: Maybe we should turn around?

John: No. We’ve almost reached the bottom. And I’m not walking through that forest of cactus needles again. Let’s go.

Self explanatory! :)

Self explanatory! 🙂

Shelley: Hey. Hey John. Hey! Wait up. You’re not mad at me, right? Because it’s not really my fault we went off trail. If you’re going to be mad at anyone, you should be mad at my parents.

Think about it. They raised me to ignore signs that said,

“Do not Enter” or

“No Trespassing” or

“Road is not Serviced” or

“Enter at Your Own Risk”

Those signs were like red flags to my family. Those signs were meant for everyone but us. Why I remember this one time when all 6 of us spent the entire night stuck in a marsh in our little red volskwagon station wagon. No one slept. Too hot. Too crowded. And way too many mosquitoes. All because dad drove past a “Do not enter” sign.  And this other time, on Mt. Revelstoke, dad sent me back to the house for an axe so he could hack out the tree trunk the car was bottomed out on. He even timed me. Said I was the fastest runner out of all four of us kids.

This very road

This very road. I’ve been saving this picture since August.

And this other time…

John: Stop. I’ve heard enough. I’m not mad. I’m scared.

Shelley: What? Why?

John: In less than a week, we’ll be meeting up with your parents.

2012-10-31 18.28.12

All is forgiven

All is forgiven.

Shelley and John

And John’s favourite podcast, five live Football Dailyso he can follow his beloved Manchester United team.


30 thoughts on “I’m not Mad, I’m Scared

  1. Pingback: I’m not Mad, I’m Scared | Honey Did you See That?

  2. Are those really your parents?? What a hoot! I totally get you now. LOL! Those Saguaro Cacti are definitely giving you and John “the finger” and laughing at you guys for trekking by them. Glad you made it out alive. 🙂


  3. Shelly, each time your blog outdoes the last entry! This is by far, my all time favorite. Great photos with hilarious dialog and the photo of your parents explains a port! I mean, A LOT”! You guys are just too wonderful for words. Thanks for letting me laugh at each party of your exciting and wild a venture!


  4. Love “self-explanatory”! I’ve hiked the Saguaro hills; it’s beautiful there. Have actually thought about relocating to Tucson but then you cast such favorable light on Biloxi, so I’m rethinkin’.

    Poor John, I guess he is just destined to be a disaster magnet. 😦


  5. I introduced Susan & Lorin to cholla cactus this past summer, no one ever believes me that suckers can fire their needles at you! I think I’ll be the tour guide when you are here! And, FYI, never leave your shoes or boots on the ground, or you’ll find a snake, coiled up inside! Good thing it’s been cold out west, those varmints have gone into hibernation mode, I hope😉 thanks for keeping me laughing, your blogs continue to be the highlight of my week.


    • They’re horrible We’ve seen them before but not en masse. Thanks for the shoes and boots tip. We tried a hike today but everything was fenced off. Didn’t want to push it. 🙂 Glad the Smiths keep you amused. Are you ready for us??


  6. Pingback: The Attach Of Jumping Cholla | Becoming is Superior to Being

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