Santa Knows if you’ve Been Good or Bad

Day 107, December 12th

Day 107, December 12th

We've made it to Carlsbad, California

00:00:00

Shelley joins the check out line with her Christmas presents. Six people are in front of Shelley. Shelley is OK with that because after 107 days on the road, she has made it to Carlsbad, California; warmth, sunshine, Christmas around the corner. Besides, how long can it take to move six people? John says he’s off to search one more store for Matt’s present.

!B9uYq0QCGk~$(KGrHqN,!h8EzLhURebNBM6o468dHw~~0_12

0:03:00

Shelley has not moved, but Shelley is OK with not moving, as she is happily distracted thinking about how awesome Ash and Andrew’s Time Share in Carlsbad will be over Christmas. (The Mullens’ wedding present to them)

PicMonkey Collage

00:06:00

Shelley has not moved, but Shelley is OK with not moving, as she is fully engrossed in trash.

Like these

00:09:00

Shelley has not moved, but Shelley is OK with not moving, as she has discovered some cute stocking stuffers on the shelves.

Stocking Stuffers - For Him

00:12:00

Shelley has not moved, but Shelley is OK with not moving, as she is thankful she does not have to deal with the crazy ass customer who is demanding the clerk pick up the change from the counter and place it in the palm of her hand or she is not leaving.

woman-going-crazy

0:15:00

Shelley has not moved. Shelley is no longer OK with not moving, as she has had enough of the little girl behind her spraying assorted perfume bottles on her, then throwing them to the floor.

Unknown

0:18:00

Shelley has still not moved. Shelley has had enough. If the mother doesn’t sort out her hair pulling daughters, Shelley will.

Like this

Like this

0:25:00

Shelley is at the front of the line. Shelley is more than OK. Shelley is ecstatic. Shelley will be home in less than ten minutes and… A little old lady lady marches past one, two, three… twenty people to the front of the line. She stands beside Shelley. She looks Shelley up and down. She confronts Shelley with,

“I didn’t know that there was a double line up.”

as if it were Shelley, not her, who barged past everyone.

Before Shelley can respond, the little old lady assumes a sprinter’s stance; feet shoulder width apart, 2/3rds of her weight on the front leg, power foot placed up to the starting line but not on it, knees slightly bent, torso leaning forward, arms cocked to 90 degrees, head up, eyes on the prize.

00:25:30

“Next customer, please.”

33502550

0:25:30.5

Shelley is at the front of the line.

Shelley. Is. Not. OK.

Shelley wants to yell,

“Hey! That little old lady just cut line. I was next. Then these people. Not her. I’ve patiently waited for twenty-five minutes. She needs to wait twenty-five minutes. Send her to the back or I will!!!!! Right everyone??? Who’s with me? On three. One. Two. Three. Arrarrrghhhhroaarrrrrrrr!!!!”

But Shelley says nothing because Shelley is in the home stretch and Shelley’s not going to blow it with less than two weeks to go.

Unknown

Shelley and John

Trash Magazines: Cheatymonkey.com

Stocking stuffers: www.lucismorsels.com

Crazy Ass Woman: blog.securestate.com

Perfume: depositphotos.com

Santa: www.skytop.com

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23 thoughts on “Santa Knows if you’ve Been Good or Bad

  1. Oh, I really understand. I’ve now taken to calling out people when they try to cut in line even if they are old. I usually have an Aikido “harmony of the way” attitude. But then I think I should redirect the person’s energy to the back of the line where they belong.

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  2. You are SO right… People do love it when they make into your blog! Keep it going for the Mullen family. BTW: pics of timeshare looks fab!! Oh, and yes, Santa is watching and you have just gone to the front of the”nice person” line.

    Like

  3. What what what she cut?! I don’t even know what I would do. Hopefully I’d be peaceful and Santa-minded like you, but……. that’s one of those weird Western-Culture things that offends me to my very core unless I’m in someone else’s country where it’s acceptable (in which case I fiercely cut back and cut back to the death).

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing my outrage. 🙂 When we lived in Germany, I would sharpen my elbows and push back. In South East Asia, I would start with a soft “Excuse me.” Inevitably I would get louder and louder much to the embarrassment of my kids… 🙂 Now you should hear them drive in Vancouver. Too funny.

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  4. Love the way you built this post, brick of patience upon brick… until someone cut in line! Get out of my F***ing way, is what I would have internally shouted! Externally, I would have said, “Hope Karma bites you in the butt, Merry Christmas!”

    Like

  5. The only thing that makes me feel less bad about having missed 3 of your earlier posts (and how the heck did THAT happen?!) is getting to read them one right after the other, laughing all the way…. Happy Holidays!

    Like

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