Imagine if you Tried to Wipe your Ass With Nails That Long

Day 111, December 16th

Day 111, December 16th, 2013

IMG_1815

Setting: Shelley and her mom are sitting at the nail drying table making small talk to a very conservative middle aged lady they have never ever laid eyes on. 

Exactly like this

Exactly like this

Mom: The other day I saw this woman on TV with nails this long.

Like this

Something very much like this

Conservative lady sitting next to my mom: My goodness. I don’t know how you can do anything with nails that long. Imagine if you tried to put in your contacts.

Mom: Imagine if you tried to wipe your ass with nails that long. You’d be cleaning out your nasal cavity.

Conservative lady sitting next to my mom:

This could be her

Definitely like this

Conservative lady sitting next to my mom: Looks like my nails are dry. Was very nice talking to you. Enjoy your holidays. Bye now.

Mom and Shelley: You too. Bye. Take care.

Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh Jesus mom. Of all the things you could have said, you had to go with,

“Imagine if you had to wipe your ass?”

Mom: Why not? That was definitely funnier than,

“Imagine if you tried to put in your contacts.”

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Shelley and John

Click on “My mom and dad” for more posts starring my parents.

Nails: mediascoop247.wordpress.com

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26 thoughts on “Imagine if you Tried to Wipe your Ass With Nails That Long

  1. That was hilarious. Back when I was working we had a lady who was a dispatcher for our fire department that had nails almost that long. I think that was just about all she could do was answer the phone and push the alarm button. Y’all have a great trip and a merry Christmas from Texas. Jim

    Like

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