Abhijat, the Kitchen Cabinet Maker: Did you win the tennis match?
Abhijat: Lose the game. Win the girl.
Shelley: That’s so sweet.
Abhijat: One thing about girls is they have to be able to protect themselves. Now my two girls, I wanted them to study boxing.
But my wife said, “No Abhijat. No. No. No. Our girls can not do boxing. They will break their noses. You must think of something else.”
So I said, “How about karate?”
And my wife said, “Karate is good.”
And they practiced and practiced. One had a black belt and the other was about to test for her brown belt, but met a boy and stopped her lessons. But that’s another story. My girls were in very very good physical shape. Tremendous shape. Not like the woman who used to live across the road from me. She was in terrible shape. She was a big woman. Very big. She would not do any exercise and would eat only fast food. She was so big that one day she had her stomach stapled. Oh my, did that ever work. You should have seen the difference. She lost so much weight that she became a real looker. Problem is that she no longer looked at her own husband. She left him for a guy 12 years younger than her.
Dad: Guess I won’t have my stomach stapled.
Shelley and John and dad: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Abhijat: It’s a shame really. Her husband is a really nice guy. I like him. I like the British too. You’re British, right John?
Abhijat: Good. Good. As I said, I like everything about the British. Except one thing. When the British forces were in India, Indian soldiers with the same rank only made 1/3 of what the the British Soldiers made. For the same job. Can you believe it? And you want to know why? The higher ups said that the British soldiers had to be paid more so they could maintain the same standard of living they were used to. Since the Indian soldiers were already used to living in poor conditions, they were paid less. It’s OK John. I still like the British.
Dad: Damn those British!
Shelley: Yeah John. Shame on you British.
Shelley, John and Dad: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Abhijat: I do. What I don’t like is lazy people. The other day when I worked on this woman’s house, I asked her, “Madam, why do you have all of those broken bikes in all over your yard?”
And she said, “When one breaks, I buy a new one.”
And I said, “Why don’t you fix them?”
And she said, “I don’t know how.”
So, when it was my lunch break, I taught her how to fix a flat tire. You know, I used to work in a bicycle shop when I was growing up in India. It was a long time ago. The problem with people these days is they don’t have any practical skills and they’re too lazy to learn them. I have so many practical skills that I like to use because I want to contribute to…
What the name Abhijat stands for: Noble. Wise.
Shelley and John