Dear Ellen DeGeneres, I can Explain

My sons, Matt, Andrew and Daughter-in-law, Ash

My sons, Matt, Andrew and Daughter-in-law, Ash on Hollywood Boulevard

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Dear Ellen,

Before you do anything drastic like call the cops, contact your lawyers or tear up my card, I can explain. As you know, it’s Christmas, and this Christmas we Smiths gave each other group gifts. Andrew and Ash bought Clippers tickets.

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John and I bought Charger tickets.

Ash, Matt, John, Andrew, my friend, Cinders and me

Ash, Football Tackling Dummy, Matt, John, Andrew, Football Tackling Dummy, my friend, Cinders, Football Tackling Dummy and me

PicMonkey Collage

And Ellen, this is where you come in, Matt bought the “Movie Stars’ Homes Tour in Hollywood” tickets.

Me, my friend, Lynn, Andrew, Matt and Ash

Me, my friend, Lynn, Andrew, Matt and Ash

(Oh and just a heads up Ellen, if you ever have guests who want to take the tour, do not let them buy their tickets at the official Star Line Tour office, as they charge $47 per person and it’s only $25 off the street. You’re welcome.)

As we had time before our tour, we checked out the stars on Hollywood Boulevard,

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the hand and foot prints in front of the Chinese Theatre,

PicMonkey Collage

attended the Oscars,

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and loaded up on sugar.

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Although this was my third tour, by the time we were seated, I was super duper excited. Our guide, Michael (Not his real name, just in case you don’t forgive and forget) explained that he had to hurry as there wasn’t much day light left. We rocketed out of that parking lot, blew by  famous clubs, restaurants, strip clubs, a few Houses of the Stars

Bella Lugosi's old house

The late Bella Lugosi’s former house

and zoomed up Mulholland Drive for a picture of the famous HOLLYWOOD sign.

If you squint, you can almost read HOLLYWOOD   in the background.

If you squint, you can almost read HOLLYWOOD in the background.

By the time we hit your house, I was giddy with excitement. Giddy.

Our Tour Guide, Michael: On your right is Ellen DeGeneres’ house. Ellen and Portia have recently moved into the neighbourhood. Their newly renovated house is thought to be…

Shelley: ( Jumping to her feet!) Ellen!!! I want to be on your show! I’ve sent you seven requests! Why won’t you put me on your show? Why won’t you at least answer me? Why…

Michael: There’s her mail box. Why don’t you write her a note?

Shelley: I will. I… No. No. No. No! NO!! I can’t find a pen.

Michael: Do you have a card?

My friend, Lynn: I do!

Shelley: What? I DO TOOOO!!!!!!

That's me on the right when I was on the 2012 Canadian Women's Olympic  Gymnastic's Team

That’s me on the right when I was on the 2012 Canadian Women’s Olympic Gymnastic’s Team. Wink!

Michael: Put it in her mail box.

Shelley: John!!!

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And that, Ellen, that is how Lynn’s and my card ended up in your mail box. As you can see, in no way were we stalking you. It’s more like,

“Being caught up in the moment.”

I do hope you forgive us for our seconds of insanity. Ellen, I believe that seeing your house, (actually the gate to your house) was a sign telling me not to quit, not to give up my dream of being a guest on your show. I’m going to be honest with you, after sending you seven requests, I’d given up. I told everybody that I didn’t want to be on your stupid show, that I didn’t care, that I really wanted to be on “Chelsea Lately” but deep down I knew it was a lie.

I. Want. To. Be. On. Your. Show.

However, if you do invite me, John,  my bud, Toni, Andrew, Ash, Matt, my mother, Cinders and Lynn  (Not my dad. Not sure why not as he loves to dance. But what can you do???) as live audience members, I’m OK with that too.

Just.

But if I don’t make the cut to actually be part of your live studio audience, I’ll pass on watching your show in a separate viewing room. That would be, as my dad would say, “Like kissing your sister.”

So, we good?
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On behalf of Lynn and me, your fan,
Shelley
Day 125, December 30th

Day 125, December 30th

Shelley and John

PS: My follow up letter to Ellen posted on Dec.30th.

Dear Ellen,

This is my 8th attempt to be a guest on your show. (Check history) I don’t need a car, money or a house make over. Although a bit of botox would be nice. Also, I am sorry for leaving my card in your mailbox. See explanation below. Thank you in advance for forgiving me and inviting me to be a guest.
Explanation:
https://honeydidyouseethat.wordpress.com/2013/12/29/dear-ellen-degeneres-i-can-explain-2/

Looking forward to your positive response,

Shelley
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43 thoughts on “Dear Ellen DeGeneres, I can Explain

  1. If your efforts fail to inspire Ellen and result in her extending invitations, you could consider the night-time show circuit, no? You clearly get an A+ for effort. Let the plea go viral! 🙂 Great accompanying photos as well.

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  2. How could she possibly resist this 8th time??? 8 is the charm – I heard once. My brother lives in LA and when I visited him I saw several stars. He had to stop me from jumping on them to say hello and get an autograph. Darn it! I wish I had not listened to him. How fun!

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      • One was Mickey Rourke who was at the premiere of The Wrestler and walked right by me, but I have to admit, his plastic surgery has him looking like a clown! And we went to a party with Kathleen Quinlan from Apollo 13 & American Graffiti AND she is a friend of mine on Facebook – which means she must really like me (hee,hee). My brother is a director and producer and does a lot of work for discovery channel. Check him out, Rafael Monserrate. Are you still there?

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      • What is it with Mickey Rourke, Billy Crystal and Bruce Jenner with all that botox in their faces?? YIKES!! Yes, Sally Fields, Kathleen Quinlan must really really like you! Too funny. Matt and I just checked out your brother. Wow you and your brother are famous. We are just south of LA in Carlsbad area. Tomorrow it’s Disney Land. The happiest place on earth! 🙂

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  3. As always, your pics that go with your story are awesome! Very cool about the Matt Damon star–he’s my fav. actor as of late! And the gigantor candy bar is tempting! I sure hope you’re bringing one back home! 😉

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  4. Oh my gosh, this is hilarious. I didn’t know such a thing existed– the house tours– but I’m not surprised. I also can’t believe that her mailbox is out in the open like that?! Weird. I wonder if she checks it herself… you could have just pitched a tent right there.

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  5. Oh Shelly, I hope your dream comes true… I would tune in for that, as I’m sure you would make your presence known in the audience, and either appear on camera or be asked to leave.

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  6. Ha… Hilarious! I must admit I don’t watch her show, well TV in general much. But I have to say I would tune in and hell maybe even record (hmmm,.. that’s probably not how to do it these days… TiVo?? IDK … whatever) just to see how you would totally kill the entire audience!! (Kill as in crack-up/amuse/entertain … just in case any Ellen scouts are viewing your correspondence!) Good luck! I hope she breaks soon!!

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    • Thank you so much. Not going to lie, had a few menopausal sweats about her really being annoyed but now I’m over it and waiting for the call. Might have to put together a dance video for her. BTW I don’t know what it’s called either. Guessing DEEVOO… I’m so old! 🙂

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  7. Hahah, Shelley…I am way behind on my blogroll, but finally catching up and loved this! I know Ellen will finally give in and I CANNOT wait to read your blog post about your visit! 🙂 Happy New Year!

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  8. Pingback: our holiday vacation to cali part 1 | ashly & monkey

  9. Oh my goodness! I think you should somehow get a chance to be on her live show! I think that your whole family would leave a great impression of what real people act like around famous people! Smiles, Robin

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