John: OK, we’ll meet you at the rugby pitch before 10.
Andrew: Sounds good. See you tomorrow.
Shelley: Wait! Andrew! This is your mom.
Andrew: Hello mother.
Shelley: Stop saying, “Hello mother.” I know it’s a line straight out of “Psycho.” I also know that Norman kills his mother in that movie.
Andrew: And your point??
Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: Guess what we did today?
Andrew: You went biking?
Shelley: God no. My bum’s still too sore. We climbed at Red Rocks,
then hiked along a ridge that over looked Las Vegas,
and then our fifth wheel batteries died.
Imagine no heat in the desert night. As Grandpa would say,
“It was colder than a witch’s tittie.”
Shelley: For the first time on this entire trip, (148 days) I finally sat by the fire. Good thing my wine didn’t freeze as I would have lost it. Better bring warm clothes for the nights.
Andrew: Done. Gotta run! See you in one sleep.
Shelley: Wait!!! You haven’t told me a story that will make me laugh.
Andrew: I’ve got one. You know how Ash likes to keep the apartment clean and tidy? Which I do appreciate by the way.
Andrew: The other night, I pulled the coffee table close to the couch so I could work on my computer. And as I was typing, Ash dragged it back to the middle of the room.
Shelley: As you were typing?
Andrew: As I was typing.
Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Andrew: Your turn.
Shelley: Yesterday, dad was on the phone with Verizon getting more and more frustrated. He just couldn’t understand how we could be billed on the 15th of every month, if the billing cycle didn’t end until the 20th. Finally, the Verizon operator became so exasperated with dad, she called him, “Dude.” as in,
“Dude. You’ve got to stop interrupting me and let me finish.”
Andrew: She called dad, “Dude?”
Andrew: Aren’t those conversations usually recorded?
Shelley: Yes… Dude. Hee. Hee. Hee.
Andrew: Ha! Ha! Ha! Dude.
Andrew and Shelley: Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!… Dude? Dude…. Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: Hee! Hee! Hee! Funny, right, Dude?
Andrew: Right, Dude. Heh. Heh. Heh. OK. That’s enough. Time to go… Dude! Heh. Heh. Heh.
Andrew and Shelley: Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Dude? Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: You’re right. Hang up… Dude! Mmmmpphhhh. Hee. Hee. Hee.
Andrew and Shelley: Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Dude? Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley: Dude! No!
Andrew: Yes! Dude!
Andrew and Shelley: Oh Jesus! Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Shelley:… Oh my God! We have to end this. Call me when you land!!! On three. Ready?!
Andrew and Shelley:
……….. Dude! Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!…
Shelley and John