Here’s How You can Escape That Nasty Polar Vortex

Had it up to here with that nasty Polar Vortex? Are the beaches of Mexico calling your name?
If you answered,
“Yes, get me the Hell out of here!”
then continue reading to find out how you could win a 7 day, all inclusive
( you get to cook, clean and empty the Smith’s RV’s sewer)
trip to Mexico. All you have to do is complete the quiz below and send in your results ASAP. We leave in a week. Not going to lie, priority will be given to Spanish speakers, as we still haven’t cracked open our “How to Speak Spanish ” CD.
Good Luck!
Parumph Museum

Parumph Museum

1) What was the Parumph museum’s host’s reply to John’s question, “What’s to do in Parumph (Nevada)?”

a) Parumph?

b) God knows. I go to Las Vegas for my fun.

c) Not a lot.

d) All of the above.

2) How many wines did Shelley sample at the Pahrump Valley Winery?


a) Five, she didn’t want the host to think she was a lush.

b) Seven, the exact amount the owner allows.

c) The entire sheet, the owner went home early.

d) All of the above and below. Ha! Ha! I kid!


3) Study the photo below. Is this


a) Snow in Nevada from that Damn Polar Vortex?

b) Salt and Borax?

c) What is Borax?

d) All of the above.

4) When John had a teeny tiny stumble, which, by the way, was hardly worth panicking over, seriously, while scrambling up the rock, Shelley 


a) yelled, “Be Careful!”

b) giggled in fear.

c) took a picture.

d) all of the above.

5) The hottest air temperature ever recorded in Death Valley was 134°F on July 10, 1913, at Furnace Creek. What is 134 Farenheit in Celsius?


a) Where is Furnace Creek anyway?

b) As Robin Williams said in “Good Morning Vietnam”

“It’s hot. Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it.”

c) What is Celsius?

d) All of the above.

6) What is the average annual rain fall in Death Valley?


a) This much.

b) Not a lot.

c) Menos de 2 pulgadas. Ha! Ha! Thought I’d throw a little spanish at you. ( Less than 2 inches) For more Spanish phrases you can’t live without, check out Swimming to my 50’s.

d) All of the above.

7) Why should you fill your tank before you tour Death Valley?

a) See below.

b) See below

c) See below.

d) All of the above.


8) Badwater Basin, in the heart of Death Valley, is the lowest point in North America. How far below sea level is it?



a) Very very far.

b) Lower than Justin Bieber’s new orange pants.


c) 282 feet. The length of the yacht, ECSTASEA

Ecstasea - Photo credit Feadship-680

d) All of the above.


9) Is Devil’s Golf Course an actual golf course?


a) Hell Yeah!

b) Fore!

c) Seriously? Look at those photos. Not even the devil could play here.

d) All of the above.

Miniature golf ball?

Miniature golf ball?

10) Why did the Smiths install a bumper on this cupboard?
a) Because John kept forgetting to mind his head.
b) Because Shelley kept forgetting to tell John to mind his head.
c) Because Shelley, continuing to fulfill her New Year’s resolution of being the best wife ever, didn’t want any more blood on her brand new sheets.
d) All of the above.
Answer key: If you answered “c” or “d” to all 10 questions, then you are 100% correct.
Now, “Go! Go! Go!” Send me your results before that next Polar Vortex heads south!!
Dec. 15 - Jan. 31, 2014Day 158, January 31st, 2014
 Justin –
Ecstasea – Feadship -680
Shelley and John

37 thoughts on “Here’s How You can Escape That Nasty Polar Vortex

  1. Tears of pride and joy are streaming down my cheeks as I type this. You are proof that my Spanish lessons really teach and you remind me why I answered my calling to provide this service to my fellow bloggers. Sniff…sniff… “Menos de dos pulgadas” is…musica to my ears (eyes). What a beautiful sentence. I am so proud of you, I can’t stand it.

    That being said, you absolutely STILL need SOMEONE who is FLUENT in Espanol to guide you around the streets of Mexico and I obviously am your chica. Free Guacamole included?


  2. Yo puedo hablar espanol. Hace muy frio aqui y necesito tiempa calido. Tambien, me gusta tequila. Recuerde que la macarena en Kuala Lumpur? Por favor llameme!


  3. So much information. So many questions… I’ve (mas o menos) traveled your latest CA/NV itinerary several times and never heard of Parumph. How on God’s earth did you find a winery in the desert? Was it a mirage? And what are you doing to that kid with the fishing pole? What is borax? And does it really come with a 20 mule team? And I’m not even going to guess (at least publicly) why the Smith’s installed a bumper. Some toys are just better left private. 🙂

    Seriously, be cautious when you drift south. We want you, John, and your wit safely returned to the lower 48.


    • Thank God Eric, that you only used a little Spanish. You need to write a post about how people should not tease those who do not speak spanish by sending comments in Spanish. 🙂 Re: The winery. Phulleeeaassee. John knows how to keep me happy. Apparently there are only 30 acres of vineyards in Nevada, and he found them. The kid with the fishing pole deserved what he got. He wouldn’t shift. Kids. I tell ya.

      You have been to the valley as I was going to write a question about the 20 mule team, but I was on limited internet and couldn’t find the info. As for the bumper, when he sat up, BAM, when he went to lay down, BAM. Trust me. Very innocent. BAM. We are going to Mexico with a guide who will take us right to the RV Park, so we should be good as long as we follow his and the Border Guards instructions. My parents are coming with us… 🙂


    • What is wrong with you people??? Stop writing to me in Spanish. I keep having to go to Google Translate. 🙂 I kid. Look at all the Spanish phrases I’m learning! Of course you can come. The bed is getting a wee bit crowded though I think we can squeeze all five you in. 🙂 Si.


  4. I made so many different sounds as I read this. First it was a happy giggle, imagining you speaking your spanish. Then it was an “oohauh haha” when you talked about taking his photo as he was stumbling and then a “aaaaaah” when I saw his gash. Basically, I owe you a sound byte.


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