Here’s How You can Escape That Nasty Polar Vortex

Had it up to here with that nasty Polar Vortex? Are the beaches of Mexico calling your name?

If you answered,

“Yes, get me the Hell out of here!”

then continue reading to find out how you could win a 7 day, all inclusive

( you get to cook, clean and empty the Smith’s RV’s sewer)

trip to Mexico. All you have to do is complete the quiz below and send in your results ASAP. We leave in a week. Not going to lie, priority will be given to Spanish speakers, as we still haven’t cracked open our “How to Speak Spanish ” CD.

Good Luck!

Parumph Museum

1) What was the Parumph museum’s host’s reply to John’s question, “What’s to do in Parumph (Nevada)?”

a) Parumph?

b) God knows. I go to Las Vegas for my fun.

c) Not a lot.

d) All of the above.

2) How many wines did Shelley sample at the Pahrump Valley Winery?

a) Five, she didn’t want the host to think she was a lush.

b) Seven, the exact amount the owner allows.

c) The entire sheet, the owner went home early.

d) All of the above and below. Ha! Ha! I kid!

3) Study the photo below. Is this

a) Snow in Nevada from that Damn Polar Vortex?

b) Salt and Borax?

c) What is Borax?

d) All of the above.

4) When John had a teeny tiny stumble, which, by the way, was hardly worth panicking over, seriously, while scrambling up the rock, Shelley 

a) yelled, “Be Careful!”

b) giggled in fear.

c) took a picture.

d) all of the above.

5) The hottest air temperature ever recorded in Death Valley was 134°F on July 10, 1913, at Furnace Creek. What is 134 Farenheit in Celsius?

a) Where is Furnace Creek anyway?

b) As Robin Williams said in “Good Morning Vietnam”

“It’s hot. Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it.”

c) What is Celsius?

d) All of the above.

6) What is the average annual rain fall in Death Valley?

a) This much.

b) Not a lot.

c) Menos de 2 pulgadas. Ha! Ha! Thought I’d throw a little spanish at you. ( Less than 2 inches) For more Spanish phrases you can’t live without, check out Swimming to my 50’s.

d) All of the above.

7) Why should you fill your tank before you tour Death Valley?

a) See below.

b) See below

c) See below.

d) All of the above.

8) Badwater Basin, in the heart of Death Valley, is the lowest point in North America. How far below sea level is it?

a) Very very far.

b) Lower than Justin Bieber’s new orange pants.

c) 282 feet. The length of the yacht, ECSTASEA

d) All of the above.

9) Is Devil’s Golf Course an actual golf course?

a) Hell Yeah!

b) Fore!

c) Seriously? Look at those photos. Not even the devil could play here.

d) All of the above.

Miniature golf ball?

10) Why did the Smiths install a bumper on this cupboard?

a) Because John kept forgetting to mind his head.

b) Because Shelley kept forgetting to tell John to mind his head.

c) Because Shelley, continuing to fulfill her New Year’s resolution of being the best wife ever, didn’t want any more blood on her brand new sheets.

d) All of the above.

Answer key: If you answered “c” or “d” to all 10 questions, then you are 100% correct.

Now, “Go! Go! Go!” Send me your results before that next Polar Vortex heads south!!

 Justin – www.wptv.com

Ecstasea – Feadship -680

Shelley and John