John and the Terrible, Horrible, no Good, Very bad Day – A Parody

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Last night I snuggled under a mountain of covers, just the way I liked it. But when I woke up, the covers were on the floor and I was freezing. Shelley said all those covers gave her hot flashes. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Even so, I jumped out of bed to make bagels, but they were soggy and mushy. Shelley ate almost an entire bagel, but I knew she was just trying to be nice.

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I wanted to print a letter for my mother, but the printer wouldn’t work, no matter what.

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Shelley connected the printer to her computer and the letter came out perfectly. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I think I’ll head back to Vancouver Island.

And then the cold water would barely flow,

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so I decided I would fix the filter, but when I tested it, water sprayed everywhere.

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I tried to tune the TV, so I could watch the Olympics, but the TV refused to be tuned.

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I wanted to install the new inverter.

Shelley asked, “Did you read the instructions?”

And I replied, “Have a little faith.”

Sparks flew. Smoke appeared. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Shelley yelled at me anyway.

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I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day because I had to drive all the way to town to buy a fuse for my truck. Shelley said she wanted to come with me and she wanted to drive. Shelley said if she didn’t drive, she would get car sick. I really really wanted to drive. I said, “I really really want to drive.” But Shelley pretended not to hear me.

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And in the store, when I asked Shelley to hold my iPad, she accidently erased my list. I loved that list. I’m going to have to start that list all over again. Shelley said she was sorry but I was making way too big of a fuss over a stupid list. That I was being a baby.

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Back at the RV park, I successfully installed the fuse, but the connector was broken, so I couldn’t listen to my favourite show, “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me.”

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Shelley suggested we go fly our kite. I agreed. The kite did not fly for me. The kite flew right away for Shelley.

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“I hope that kite breaks free and lands on Vancouver Island,” I cried. I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

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It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day because nothing at all went right. Everything went wrong, right down to the gross hot springs where the gross couple kissed. Who needs gross hot springs with gross kissing couples in them anyway?

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Shelley said a game of tennis would make me feel better. She said that hitting the ball would help me get rid of my anger. I lost to Shelley 8 games to 6. Shelley insisted I take a picture of her.

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I told Shelley she was showing off. Shelley said I was being a poor sport. It was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

Shelley says some days are like that, even on Vancouver Island.

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(Thanks Treescape Gardens, Comox Valley)

Dec. 19 - Feb. 24th, 2014Day 183, Feb. 24th, 2014

Alexander and and the Terrible, Horrible, no Good, Very bad Day by Judith Viorst

Shelley and John

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47 thoughts on “John and the Terrible, Horrible, no Good, Very bad Day – A Parody

      • Why does he torture himself so?! John, I’ll buy you a beer when your back in town! FYI, the “cloud” is a wonderful thing! Shelley, I bet it was all your fault! I’ll buy you a glass of wine!

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      • I too am at a loss. John says thank you. I do believe back up are his new words. Oh my. It was my fault. It started with me erasing the holy list. Sigh. Now we are at an RV repair shop waiting to see how much it will cost to install the inverter and replace the burnt wires. … 🙂

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  1. Oh no 😦 Well, I guess John might be the only one who’s happy it’s Monday, seeing as that crappy day is over. So Happy Monday John 🙂 And BTW, don’t come back just yet… it snowed in Anacortes all day here yesterday too. Heavy, wet, slushy snow… ugg.

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  2. It is a natural hot springs with all those wonderful minerals, right? And a bonus of a kissing couple!! Nice photos by the way…besides the hot springs of death. No one looked happy in that photo.

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  3. What a funny post. On days like that, the best thing to do is curl back up under that warm duvet and wait for the terrible day to pass. You can always start again the next day, ha ha ha

    Wow, Shelley can jump really high, what a great picture.

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    • It did get a little better. I made him supper, made sure he had a constant supply of beer, until he decided to try rebooting his computer without backing up. Terrible. Re the picture: Ha! Was super afraid I would catch my foot on the net in my staged pic. 🙂

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  4. Querido John, Ay, Pobrecito. Tu tuviste un dia terrible, horrible, no bueno y muy malo! However, you were muy inteligente in allowing your lovely wife to discard of the blankets because of her hot flashes, drive because she wanted to, erase your list, beat you in tennis and more! That’s what I call Un Buen Esposo, and you know that A Buen Esposo makes for a MUY Buen Esposa.

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    • John era muy, muy feliz de que el día termine. Al día siguiente, me golpearon en el tenis, vio el partido del hockey del oro y se quedó en una fábrica. Parque de casas rodantes con piscinas limpias. Estoy totalmente preparado para mi examen. Mi Google translate página se puede encontrar en mis pestañas.

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      • Ha,ha,ha,ha!!!!! I’m not laughing AT you but with you…Pretty good mi amiga! I didn’t know google translate could live in someone’s eyelashes. How convenient. But…there is no google translate allowed for the exam. There will be proctors from WordPress overseeing the process! No me gusta que John gano el juego de tenis.

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  5. This was terrific! I’m new here so who really did the writing on this? Or do you post as a team? One a little cranier than the other. Not saying which! This is the second post I have read today in the form of a “children’s story” Was there some writing prompt on that or something? Anyhow, thanks for finding me so I could retrace the breadcrumbs (yeah, my kid’s story should be Hansel and Gretel, I guess!) back to – – this Gem of a blog! Can’t wait to click Follow.
    take care,
    Stephanie

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    • Why thank you! I do the writing, John does the proofing. However, if he doesn’t laugh out loud, with tears flowing down his cheeks, I get derailed. 🙂 No writing prompt, although now and then I head over to the Daily Writing Prompt. As for crazy, we take turns. Have to have a dig through your blog also. Thanks for the follow!!!

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  6. John, John!! What the heck?! I feel for yu buddy! And yes I can just see Shelley there laughing! You had to have been Shelley! How could all of that happen in one day to one person! ……sorry had to stop myself from cracking up. I so miss you guys !

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    • Cinders, I am on the best behaviour after his itsy bitsy tiny fall from the RV. For the record, I didn’t yell at him when he almost burnt us down, I looked up and then looked down again. John says that’s scarier than when I loose it. Miss you too, girlfriend. 🙂

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