I think I Just Swallowed a Lump of Butter

Before we returned to the Comox Valley, (Stay tuned for the final blog post of our seven and a half month epic trip) we had a quick visit with Ash and Andrew in Vancouver. We were finally able to watch Andrew coach his rugby team, IMG_4429IMG_4444Coach Andrew: Why did he kick that? Have we gone over kicking in that situation?                                                                                                      Coach Tim: No.                                                                                                                                                                                                       Coach Tim and Coach Andrew: Oh boy.                                                                                                                                                      Coach Andrew: That's exactly what we're doing well. Coach  Ted: You need to hit harder, run straight, not ever let up.   Coach Andrew: Very good. That’s exactly what we’re doing well.

Coach Ted: You need to hit harder, run straight, not ever let up. IMG_4443 Coach Andrew: I don’t know if Ted knows we’re up by about 30.IMG_4451


wrestle with Andrew, (Not me because it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, like moi.) IMG_4419 IMG_4417 and celebrate Andrew’s birthday.

John: Andrew, here’s your belated birthday cake.

Shelley and John: (Sings) Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Andrewwwww! Happy Birthday to you.

Andrew: I bet U2 are shitting themselves.

Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Andrew: Awesome! Peanut butter squares. Yeah! Thanks dad.

Why this picture doesn't quite fit: Didn't realize that this conversation would be perfect for a post.

Why this picture doesn’t quite fit: Didn’t realize that this conversation would become a post.

Shelley: Mmmmm.

Andrew: Mmmmm.

Shelley: Mmmmm?

Andrew: Mmmmm?

Shelley: Isn’t the dark brown cakey bit supposed to be on the bottom?

Andrew: Like a base? IMG_4404 John: I wasn’t sure where it went.

Shelley: Weren’t the directions on the back of the box?

John: There may have been something there. But it didn’t make sense to me.

Andrew: These directions? The ones with the pictures? IMG_4406 Andrew and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

John: Give it to me.

Andrew and Shelley: What are you doing????

John: Throwing it out. IMG_4407 Andrew and Shelley: Nooooo!!!!! It’s good. We’re just teasing you.

John: Ha! Hah! Here.

Andrew: Mmmmm.

Shelley: Mmmmm.

Andrew: Mmmmm?

Shelley: Mmmmm?

Andrew: I think I just swallowed a lump of butter.

Shelley: John, weren’t you supposed to melt the butter first, then mix it with the peanut butter packet?

John: I did.

Andrew: (Whispers) Mom, I watched dad. He skipped the melting butter part, tried to mix hard butter and the peanut butter together, but everything stuck to his spoon, so he added another bit of butter, threw the sticky lump into the microwave for four seconds, tossed it back into the pan, tried to smooth it all over, with no luck, so he added another wad of butter, chucked it back into the microwave for 4 seconds. 5 seconds tops.

Shelley: That doesn’t sound like your father.

Andrew and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

John: I heard that. It’s gone. IMG_4407 Andrew and Shelley: Nooooo!!!! We’re sorry. Really sorry. We promise to stop.

John: Jesus Christ! From now on make your own dessert. I try to do something around here and all I get is grief from you ungrateful bums. I don’t remember either one of you helping out.

Andrew: Dad, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I never give you a hard time. It’s mom. Mom brings out the worst in me.

Shelley: What?

Andrew: It’s true. I say something, you laugh, then I can’t stop. Obviously, it’s all your fault.

Shelley: What?

John: Doesn’t matter. I’m done with you two.

Andrew and Shelley: We’re done teasing too. Cross our hearts. Go on. You know you want us to eat it. You put all that effort into it. Please. Puhhlleeeease.


Andrew: It’s really good no matter what it looks like.


Shelley: Really, really good.

John: Last time. I mean it. Here.

Shelley: Mmmmm.

Andrew: Mmmmm.

Shelley: Mmmmm?

Andrew: Mmmmm?

Shelley: Mmmmmphhhh!

John: Don’t.

Shelley: Hee! Hee!

Andrew: God help me, I can’t help it.

John: Don’t.

Andrew: Is the chocolate meant to be only in the middle like a…

Shelley: Like a marble cake? Untitled

 Day 230, April 12th, 2014

April 14th

And for a look at the interactive map, click here.

Shelley and John

26 thoughts on “I think I Just Swallowed a Lump of Butter

  1. Hilarious! Sometimes baking isn’t as easy as it looks. A couple years ago, I baked my first pie from scratch, for Thanksgiving. It was a chocolate pie and was supposed to be solid. When my mother cut into it, it was like a chocolate river. My dad nicknamed it the “Straw Pie”, he said he had to eat it with a straw. I posted a picture of it on my blog…it was pretty nasty. 🙂
    Happy Birthday to Andrew!


    • Ha! Ha! Am loving your dad. Poor John, it’s like he has to get stuff done as quickly as possible so he can check it off his list. And then we nail him. 🙂 I’m going to head over to your blog to check it out. But first, off to my parents for supper!


  2. Ha,ha! Glad you have a partner in crime with Andrew! You can gang up on John (sorry, John). I love the Mmmmm’s with question marks at the end. Mmmmm? LOL! If it has chocolate, peanut butter and pounds of butter, I’ll eat it no questions asked!


    • Andrew brings out the best in me and apparently I bring out the worst. He says the same thing when Ash is there, I goad him on. 🙂 Honestly, the cake was gone in less than half a day. Just messing with John!


  3. I feel poor John’s pain. He just tries to bring a little joy to his family’s stomach and suddenly finds himself being made fun of. For shame, for shame family of John. Hasn’t John suffered enough?


    • I know. We’re awful. But it was pretty funny. Just read your comment to John, he says thank-you for your support. It’s more than his wife and kid gives him! 🙂


  4. I can only say John need I remind you about the jelly instructions? Never mind, you can cook something for us next week…..😉


  5. I can’t stop laughing! This story brings back every John episode incident and memory from this winter! I tried so very hard to read this with compassion and empathy, however, the giggles and tears of laughter just couldn’t be squashed! (Sorry John, I know all this happens cause you’re just being an awesome dad, husband, and host!)


    • From John, “I am saddened that you are laughing at me, not with me because you are right, I am an awesome dad, husband and host. What is wrong with my family?”


  6. HAHA! I have to side with John here…I too have made an honest effort at cooking something (anything) and ended up the butt of jokes. Teehee, as long as no one gets sick, it’s all good, right????



  7. I have had children try to skip steps in their preparation, but haven’t met a man who was this silly! Really, for some reason the men I have run into are usually telling ME I don’t know how to cook! Hahaha! Smiles, Robin


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