You Wouldn’t Happen to Have a Hot Tub I Could Soak in for About an Hour or so, Would you?

BMO Half Marathon Race Registration

Ash, John and I registering for the 2014 Vancouver BMO Half Marathon

On our way out the door.

On our way out the door.

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Shelley: Thank you Mr. Cab Driver! Thank you so much for stopping. I thought I was going to freeze to death. You saved my life. Thank you.

Cabbie: No problem.

Shelley: Soooooo cold. Sooooooo freakin’ cold. Ahhh! I’m shaking so bad, I can’t put on my seat belt. Thank you, Andrew. Andrew’s my son. He literally gave me the shirt off his back in an attempt to warm me up. Now that boy was raised right.

Cabbie: Sure was.

Shelley:  Ahhhh… my teeth are chattering. Holy mother of God. Ahhhh… If you want a tip, you’ll need turn on your heat.

Cabbie: Ha! Ha! How’s that?

Shelley:  All the way up. Don’t be shy. There you go.

Cabbie: Better?

Shelley: Getting there. I’m so sorry but you’re going to have to close your window too. Thank you. We just ran the half marathon. My husband, John, finished around 1:51, and Ash, my-daughter-in-law, crossed the line in just over two hours, which is amazing, as her goal was to maintain a six minute km pace. After the 4 km mark, I never saw her again, which is OK, because this is my first half in 18 years. It would have been my second, but last year, while running the Oak Bay Half Marathon (Victoria, BC), I went the wrong way. (Click on “Honey Runs her  Own Race” to read about that disaster.) How embarrassing was that? Ha! Ha! Is that sweat running down your face?

Cabbie: It’s OK.

Shelley: Thank you. Thank you. You are the best cabbie, ever. I mean that. Jeesh, for the last two years, the weather for the BMO half-marathon was amazing; crystal blue skies, the sun beating down, warm temperatures, but the year I decide to run, it pours record amounts and the temperature doesn’t reach 10 degrees.

It rained and blew so hard, the cherry blossoms snowed on our sun roof.

It rained and blew so hard, it snowed cherry blossoms.

Was like this!!!

The next day wasn’t much different.

Cabbie: It is not a good day.

Shelley: You got that right. I’ve never seen so much rain since I lived in Malaysia. Oh boy, I can’t stop shivering. What I need is a hot tub. Ash and Andrew don’t have one. You wouldn’t happen to have a hot tub I could soak in for about an hour or so, would you? It doesn’t even have to be a fancy one, as long as it has hot water.

Doesn't even have to be fancy.

Cabbie: Uh no.

Shelley: That’s too bad. What about your relatives, any of them have a hot tub?

Cabbie: No, not that I can think of.

Shelley: You’re kidding me? None of your relatives have a hot tub? Unbelievable. Friends. What about friends? At least one of your friends must have a hot tub.

Cabbie: I’m very sorry, but no.

Shelley: You need to get a hot tub. Think how much money you could make renting out your hot tub. I would pay top dollar for a soak in your hot tub. Seriously, you need to consider buying one. Tell me you’ll at least think about it.

Cabbie: OK.

Shelley: That’s great. Hey! I’ve stopped shivering, all thanks to you. You can stop by the brown house. The only thing left between me and a hot shower is the walk down a set of steep stairs. No worries, I’ll stop, drop and roll, like Leonardo Di Caprio, in “Wolf Of Wall Street.” Did you see that movie? It was like watching a train wreck, awful, but mesmerizingly funny.

Cabbie: No.

Shelley: That’s too bad, you really should watch it, but not in front of your kids. Too much of everything for little ones. Time to get out. Thank you. Oh! Ah! Eeee! Nope. Not going to happen. Do you mind giving me a little push?

Cabbie:????

Shelley: Not a hard shove, a gentle sustained movement, right here on the small of my back. That’s it. There you go. I’m standing. Perfect. Thanks again. Huh! I just realized I don’t have any money. Andrew?

Andrew: I got it mom.

Shelley: That’s my boy. Don’t forget to tip. This man deserves a big fat bonus for driving in a sauna while listening to a crazy woman babble.

Andrew carried me down the stairs. God bless him.

Andrew carried me down the stairs.Bless him.

Ash, John and myself post showers, supper and perhaps a few celebratory beverages.

Ash, John and myself post showers, supper and perhaps a few celebratory beverages.

Shelley and John

 

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32 thoughts on “You Wouldn’t Happen to Have a Hot Tub I Could Soak in for About an Hour or so, Would you?

  1. I think that cabbie posted your pic at the station with a “do not pick her up” notice beneath it! FYI, I have a hot tub!

    Like

    • And on bill boards, “Escapted White Haired with orange spots looney tune woman on the loose.” Poor guy! Ah who are we kidding, he got his tip! 🙂

      Like

  2. Hahaha, I love everything about this post! Except that you registered in the first place! 😀 (Running is not my thing, can you tell?) Going to read the other half marathon post now, that must have been before I *met* you. Ha.

    I wonder if the cabbie thought about the fact that you have no family or friends with a hot tub you could soak in either, but expected him to. 😀

    Like

  3. OMG, you went the wrong way last time???? That is just hilarious!! You ROCK, Honey! What an accomplishment. It must have been your new hairdo that helped you along. LOL on the blabbering to the cabbie. I bet he went home and told his wife about you. 🙂 I hope you have recovered. I don’t have a hot tub but my good friend does. It’s clean and big, it’s worth the drive.

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    • Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Our next trip to Mass. we are there. Oh, to have a hot tub. I would get one, but then when we ate outside we would have to eat our dinner in it. Wait. That’ll work. Right?

      Like

      • My friend and I sit in it for hours (we shouldn’t) and we hydrate with H2o and sometimes wine. Her husband has been known to bring us snacks while in the tub and probably because he wants to make sure we are still alive. 🙂

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