Shelley: Thank you Mr. Cab Driver! Thank you so much for stopping. I thought I was going to freeze to death. You saved my life. Thank you.
Cabbie: No problem.
Shelley: Soooooo cold. Sooooooo freakin’ cold. Ahhh! I’m shaking so bad, I can’t put on my seat belt. Thank you, Andrew. Andrew’s my son. He literally gave me the shirt off his back in an attempt to warm me up. Now that boy was raised right.
Cabbie: Sure was.
Shelley: Ahhhh… my teeth are chattering. Holy mother of God. Ahhhh… If you want a tip, you’ll need turn on your heat.
Cabbie: Ha! Ha! How’s that?
Shelley: All the way up. Don’t be shy. There you go.
Shelley: Getting there. I’m so sorry but you’re going to have to close your window too. Thank you. We just ran the half marathon. My husband, John, finished around 1:51, and Ash, my-daughter-in-law, crossed the line in just over two hours, which is amazing, as her goal was to maintain a six minute km pace. After the 4 km mark, I never saw her again, which is OK, because this is my first half in 18 years. It would have been my second, but last year, while running the Oak Bay Half Marathon (Victoria, BC), I went the wrong way. (Click on “Honey Runs her Own Race” to read about that disaster.) How embarrassing was that? Ha! Ha! Is that sweat running down your face?
Cabbie: It’s OK.
Shelley: Thank you. Thank you. You are the best cabbie, ever. I mean that. Jeesh, for the last two years, the weather for the BMO half-marathon was amazing; crystal blue skies, the sun beating down, warm temperatures, but the year I decide to run, it pours record amounts and the temperature doesn’t reach 10 degrees.
Cabbie: It is not a good day.
Shelley: You got that right. I’ve never seen so much rain since I lived in Malaysia. Oh boy, I can’t stop shivering. What I need is a hot tub. Ash and Andrew don’t have one. You wouldn’t happen to have a hot tub I could soak in for about an hour or so, would you? It doesn’t even have to be a fancy one, as long as it has hot water.
Cabbie: Uh no.
Shelley: That’s too bad. What about your relatives, any of them have a hot tub?
Cabbie: No, not that I can think of.
Shelley: You’re kidding me? None of your relatives have a hot tub? Unbelievable. Friends. What about friends? At least one of your friends must have a hot tub.
Cabbie: I’m very sorry, but no.
Shelley: You need to get a hot tub. Think how much money you could make renting out your hot tub. I would pay top dollar for a soak in your hot tub. Seriously, you need to consider buying one. Tell me you’ll at least think about it.
Shelley: That’s great. Hey! I’ve stopped shivering, all thanks to you. You can stop by the brown house. The only thing left between me and a hot shower is the walk down a set of steep stairs. No worries, I’ll stop, drop and roll, like Leonardo Di Caprio, in “Wolf Of Wall Street.” Did you see that movie? It was like watching a train wreck, awful, but mesmerizingly funny.
Shelley: That’s too bad, you really should watch it, but not in front of your kids. Too much of everything for little ones. Time to get out. Thank you. Oh! Ah! Eeee! Nope. Not going to happen. Do you mind giving me a little push?
Shelley: Not a hard shove, a gentle sustained movement, right here on the small of my back. That’s it. There you go. I’m standing. Perfect. Thanks again. Huh! I just realized I don’t have any money. Andrew?
Andrew: I got it mom.
Shelley: That’s my boy. Don’t forget to tip. This man deserves a big fat bonus for driving in a sauna while listening to a crazy woman babble.
Shelley and John